Obsession/attachment ending instantly?

Has anyone ever had this happen to them?

For the last...2 weeks I've had an intense crush on a coworker/friend. It started probably a month ago but didn't come into full bloom til mid September. I was feeling so many emotions, such a roller coaster, the fear of abandonment and all that...and all I wanted was to be close to her. Spend every moment possible with her. Then I got my wish, we got a few days where we spent it with each other, it was almost all I thought it would be. And parts were fun, but near the end...

It's like the spell cleared. She said a few things that turned me off, 'mostly things that revealed her and I share some similar intense tendencies lol. I thought I wanted her to be as intense as me - by my brain surprised me and I didn't like it. Within a day I went from feeling physically sick, emotionally out of control, and all this over this woman to feeling normal again. I'm at work and don't feel triggered in the slightest, I feel like I did before she came into my life. I don't hate her or anything, I like her and will still hang out but the physical/emotional intense longing and whatnot seems to be gone entirely.

Am I splitting? Should I expect the crush to come back full force? I am super relieved to be not feeling so much intensity, but I have my guard up.

i do that too and i do not know why.i want someone and then i feel disqusted even and do not want him any more.
sometimes i might miss him later.
of course there are people that i can’t get over.and i can’t stop wanting them even if i want to stop and try to stop because they are assholes.
and then i get even more afraid that what if others do the same to me.want me and then poof everything is gone and don’t feel anything.
why is this happening ,to want someone and suddenly loose feelings.
but it feels this happens to nons too.doesn’t it?

I believe this happens to everyone, to some extent at least, that's where the term friend zoned comes from. I guess it could be based on a certain formula, too much too soon? etc. But with PD's the 'cycles' within might work differently, and so the attachment formulates differently.

but what is the different between a non and a pd.
i can’t figure out this.it seems that pds and nons do the same things.
friendzoned it could be that you never had any feelings at all.you do not have them and loose them suddenly

I think we as people with BPD tend to just feel these things stronger...and it can be harder to let go in my experience because if the fear of abandonment. I'm more sensitive to things that signal rejection too I think than a non.

Maybe I did partly friend zone her? She might have friend zoned me too...there was like a moment lol because I joked about how someone thought we were a couple at the restaurant. And she's like "like men and women can't just be friends right??" And then I said "yeah its gross that people think that". Then like literally a minute later started telling me that her relationship is a dud and she's considering leaving. But that she loves him and wants more from him but he isn't giving it. So now I'm the supportive friend I guess which is all I can be given I am very much in love with my gf.

But I do think there's more to it too, for myself, because I was trying to make her jealous today I noticed. It was low key but I flirted with another coworker a bit and she invited me out and I was like "OH WHY YES THAT WOULD BE DELIGHTFUL" (that's not what I said lol but it was the message). And I still am jealous of her relationship with a different coworker.

So maybe I just got a break from the obsessive anxiety today but yeah. Who knows what's going on with my head and heart right now.

julllia wrote:but what is the different between a non and a pd.
i can’t figure out this.it seems that pds and nons do the same things.
friendzoned it could be that you never had any feelings at all.you do not have them and loose them suddenly

It's about attraction, not specifically about feelings, yet. Attraction is just the pull.

I think there might have been an actual friend zoned topic, and this is what I commented: it's not supposed to be an end, but a beginning.

Since attraction is about the "pull", could it be that from distance the assumed similarities created an attraction? But a closer look revealed a mirror image that was a little scary.
I recently heard that a functional attraction requires "opposites".

once i had a chat with a colleague n we sort of got along well. it was just one chat n i was imagining going on trips with him, like best friends forever.

i guess its about seeking the kind of affection one gets from family.