haunting memories..

Why doesn’t this stuff go away with time...
At work today I went with a friend, who’s a police officer, to call someone over the police radio network - I’m not a police officer, but I work with cops daily. All was calm and peaceful.
So he calls the unit radio call-sign, which is: “Pappa Zulu Zero”. But “Pappa Zulu” doesn’t reply for some time, and when he does, his voice is faint and crackling static on the radio.. and I get a weird choking feeling in my throat.
Later, got to lock my office door so no one will see me crying like a pathetic wimp.. it dawns on me, “Pappa Zulu” .. was the radio call sign of a military base in my old life, 25 years ago...”Pappa Zulu, I read you fives”.. I’m exhausted & emotional.. to hell with this

Hi jhp
I dont have any myself but i can imagine the stress and worry it will be causing
have you looked into the therapy side ...just to be able to speak about this ?

Your not a wimp, being emotional is human and is not a weakness

I dont have much advice to give but i know your human, and that said, you need support , maybe look into that possibility maybe?

jhp wrote:Why doesn’t this stuff go away with time...

I don't know the answer to that, it's obviously something that made a deep impression. Let it out. There's no shame in shedding a tear.

If it reminded you of that time in third grade that you swatted a mosquito that was trying to bite you, I'd probably say you were taking it a little hard. However, that isn't the case, here. I'll bet that base was the starting point for a lot of memories that became some pretty heavy nightmares. The human body isn't always designed for what we ask of it.

No, if you could walk away from that kind of hell without an emotional scratch or if you could just wake up one morning and completely forget about all of it, then I'd worry that there's something wrong with you.

thankyou Casper and cannedbeans and Echinacea, for your thoughtful replies.. appreciated