Is this insanity BPD related, bipolar, or something else?

Hi all,

I have an extreme, narcissistic sense of entitlement.

Basically, if I don't get immediate attention or eye contact, I'll have uncontrollable anger and a firm, fixed belief (a delusion?) that they are rejecting me coldly, and I'll feel the burning need to retaliate.

This is made a ton worse by alcohol. I think it gets to the point of being quasi-psychotic paranoia, where I'll feel so strong in my conviction that I'm being punished or rejected that I've recently started hitting things and throwing temper tantrums (privately).

I've felt the need to physically or verbally hurt the "perpetrator" but so far haven't done anything major.

What is this? It's obviously a severe lack of impulse control, but BPD doesn't include an overwhelming sense of entitlement, so it must be narcissistic, but NPD doesn't generally include such severe impulse control issues.

Why does it have to be a sense of entitlement? Do you believe you deserve or should be treated better or more "special" than others? What it sounds like to me is an exquisite sensitivity to slights, which is the very last criteria for BPD in the DSM V.

Hey covertunsure.

I can fully relate to your experiences. When I first mentioned this to the mental health field they said it was 'anger problems' [like I didn't know that.] But eventually I was given a haphazard diagnosis of BPD, also of Social Anxiety which is real, and depression, too. I believe the thing underpinning all this, for me, is powerful toxic shame - something I can see clearly and understand without having to dig deep at all. Look into that as well.

Hang in there covertunsure, and I hope you get to the bottom of it. I hope you will eventually rid yourself of these demons.

Sounds like BPD, maybe a form of abandonment issues. NPD is different (from waht I know) than what you just described.
It could also be a form of unstable moods and percieved rejection.

to op what do you think getting a lable will do for you?

It sounds like BPD. I do the exact same thing. You know how in Disney's Beauty & The Beast, they pan through his castle and it's all messed up and things are ripped and broken and scattered. Yeah, that's my room.

I agree with what others are saying - it sounds more like sensitivity to rejection than entitlement.

madjoe - your question is interesting to me, my most recent therapist asked me the same thing. I think he was concerned that my fascination with analyzing the disorder was contributing to the disorder itself.

I thought labeling leads to proper research and that should lead to self improvement - buuuuut, I have researched BPD for the past decade and that does not stop me from throwing temper tantrums. :-\

madjoe wrote:to op what do you think getting a lable will do for you?

KaREBear_88 wrote:It sounds like BPD. I do the exact same thing. You know how in Disney's Beauty & The Beast, they pan through his castle and it's all messed up and things are ripped and broken and scattered. Yeah, that's my room.

I agree with what others are saying - it sounds more like sensitivity to rejection than entitlement.

madjoe - your question is interesting to me, my most recent therapist asked me the same thing. I think he was concerned that my fascination with analyzing the disorder was contributing to the disorder itself.

I thought labeling leads to proper research and that should lead to self improvement - buuuuut, I have researched BPD for the past decade and that does not stop me from throwing temper tantrums. :-\

Won't a "definition" make understand things clearly? It's like when a child doesn't know the meaning of something and you explain him/her what it means. For example: what it is love? We can find the meaning in different fields, beginning from the dictionary. In my experience, when I found all the information I started to realized that how much misunderstanding was in my mind, and even today I feel like it won't ever end because we constantly evolve. This is my personal thoughts tho.

borderline is not a cause nore a way to handle it
and i think that's prolbebe the most importend right?

madjoe wrote:borderline is not a cause nore a way to handle it
and i think that's prolbebe the most importend right?

Ok

Grandiosity is a common feature of a bipolar manic or hypomanic episode, which can include a feeling of entitlement. Like you're King and entitled to the keys of the kingdom lol

That said, your description does not seem related to bipolar disorder. Bipolar mood episodes last much longer and don't come on as quickly, IMO.