I believe my gf has bpd

I have been in a lesbian relationship with my best friend for 15 months. Both of us are married unhappily to men, both were unhappy in marriage long before we came together, and stay for the kids who are between 6-8.

These are some of the things she does: one day she is telling me how much she loves me needs me, appreciates me, I'm her soulmate, etc. We are closer to each other than anyone else. The next day she is blowing up at me by text refusing to speak on phone, usually its over either something totally minor, or nothing at all. She keeps adding to it and changing the reason she is mad when I try to explain that's not true and calmly tell her I've done nothing wrong and explain , she adds a different reason, and the majority of the time its something that absolutely NEVER happened! Even when I prove to her I was right and she flipped over nothing she won't apologize she will say she thot I was lying.

It's like we get super close she tells me that's what she wants, she wants to be with me, then she finds every reason to push me away. I always remind her how much I love her, help her care for her, etc. There is no reasoning I've found when she gets like this. Yet when she's not like this she's amazing. I love her we have amazing times together. I care and want to help her.

She also tells ppl different stories and changes her story constantly yet she likes to tell me I'm the one who always changes my story, which isn't true I have always been one to stick to what I say. Even when there's proof , like texts that contradict each other completely she still denies it, says she doesn't recall, or somehow tries to justify.

She acts the craziest when I'm not around and she can't be with me, or try to control me. I have depression and spent several days hospitalized as a result of I cldnt handle the stress and heartbreak anymore, and she completely went over the edge during that time. She was overdosing on anxiety pills, texting my husband at all hrs all sorts of crazy stuff, yelling in rage at me on the phone, even got herself admitted for screaming into the phone in rage on a 3 way with me and another friend that she was going to kill herself so that friend called 911 she was admitted and released bc she turned on her charm and said she's fine that never happened.

Yet, I'm the only person she truly exhibits this behavior, and its mostly when she can't be with me. She's never had a blow up when we were together. Her husband hates her basically, threatens her into staying with him, that if she leaves he will make sure she doesn't get the kids, he's even threatened to kill her. He is abusive and she is scared but he basically ignores her . other ppl she us friends with she seems somewhat fake with like an act. She does like ppl to think she's a perfect person.

And she is also my asst at my business. She flips out out of overwhelm that I am demanding her time, she needs to clean her house, maintain her workouts, etc and the thing is I'm beyond flexible, she has a few set hrs a week and then beyond that is flexible. And she is paid for more hrs than she works, so I'm going above and beyond to help there's no reason to blame me.

My take is that i am the person who makes her feel loved, and she loses it when she can't be with me. Many normal times she has told me she wants to leave him and be with me bc she loves me and knows I love her and he is so controlling and abusive but she's scared. Then when we get super close again she finds a way to push me away bc in her mind she panics. Yet I still love her and want to help her

Does anyone think thats what it sounds like?

Hi cate1515
I see you didnt get any replies yet...

As you know from the forum rules no one here can say for sure if she has or hasnt got BPD so maybe thats why no one has replied as yet.

She seems up and down, but my take on it is to talk with her about it could be that she is really stressed and she doesnt know which way to turn...an affair is also hard the best of times ..hiding in secret etc..but yours must be adding a little extra worry/confusion (for her maybe) ?

I think the best thing is to speak with her about it when you got the opening you need and then go from there

As for your question ..i cant say she has/hasnt but some things need to be talked about

Im sorry i couldn't be more help