New to borderline personality disorder

Hi I'm new to this BPD I have researched very deeply and have looked into all other mental illness I have been told by a family doctor after seeking help that In his mind there's no doubt I have it as my mother has it for definite and the more I look into it I see it in myself and explains a lot of what I can remember doing for over the past 10 years I'm 26 years old and I also believe my younger siblings have it as we all had the same upbringing with neglect at times seen a lot of violence and were all beat I have read some great books which I think opened me up to this one being the power of now and I'm half way through the secret I don't drink anymore stopped all recreational drugs a year ago completely and I am slowly finding myself I'm trying to change and think positive and I'm also on SSRIs as I have had anxiety and depression for a few years now and it's helping I feel better I first though I had seasonal affective disorder but yeah I may have a touch of this but the main problem has to be BPD as its affected all my relationships and friendships and still affecting my engagement with my fiancée who we've been together 3 years next month only this weekend I pushed her again away said it was over because I felt she wasn't talking enough to me and the worse bit was I was calm and felt rational usually I can look back and see I wasn't but there wasn't much if any anger which this scares me as I don't want to feel like this I've seen my doctor on several episodes and they've now referred me to mind matters and I'm awaiting CBT which I hope I get sooner than later because this is becoming more regular now and I need help if anyone in here can recommend anything or suggest anything that may help im open to learn also I run my own landscaping business and put a lot in I don't know if being exhausted can make this worse but I try to do yoga and meditation as much as I can and eat as well as I can now with all my vitamins also thanks in advance