How do you get a proper diagnosis?

I don't know what's happening. I've been seeing the same psychiatrist for a bit, I've seen her at least 5 times now I think, and she had my file from the previous temporary (ER) psychiatrist, whom I saw also 5-6x I think. I believe they also talked to each other.
Before I went to this hospital, it usually took psychiatrists 15 minutes to tell me "yeah probably BPD, here, have some pills, call this place, you'll be put on a waiting list, bye"
Now, I'm only getting "Yeah, some OCD, kinda, generalized anxiety, probably, and some, hmmm, personality traits." (yes "personality traits", not even "dysfunctional personality traits" )
She won't be more specific.
I did tell them that I wouldn't sign the papers to allow my old records from the other hospitals to be sent over there, because of the BS they put in there and the treatment I got whenever I signed them in the past (diagnosing me in 10 minutes based on things from when I was 14, and the general attitude change when they read "possible BPD") so maybe that could explain the reluctance to diagnose.

I've told her that I feel like everything stems from my paranoia, and that that's what I want to deal with. I think I saw her writing that down, so I guess she did take it seriously.
But then she keeps talking like she referred me for DBT, and anxiety and mood disorders. (I'm seeing this one temporarily too and she referred me to another outpatient clinic at the same hospital)

I feel like I'm rambling and not making much sense, so anyway,
Have any of you ever gotten a THOROUGH evaluation and if so, how did you get it? (please don't say court ordered, I don't feel like getting in trouble for this )
I feel like telling them what I think just isn't enough for them to take it seriously, so maybe if they figured it out by themselves and put their cute little DSM labels on me it would be better, but how can they label and treat me if they won't really look at what's wrong with me?

I have only been diagnosed on a first visit once, and only after telling her I was already diagnosed and she ran very quickly through the criteria and went "yep, it fits."

My official diagnosis is questionable, but it nonetheless wasn't given lightly and only after SEVERAL sessions with my first psychologist. I didn't get a proper psych eval (no MMPI-2 for instance). There was no mention of personality disorders beyond her initial suspicion of psychopathy.

I wouldn't trust anything more than a very tentative diagnosis early on. If a therapist is throwing around a PD diagnosis within the first few sessions take it with a grain of salt, and depending on how convinced they are so quickly, consider moving on to another therapist. Something as pervasive, entrenched, and entwined in the psyche as a personality disorder takes time to really confirm, in my opinion, and misdiagnosis isn't exactly rare even with that in mind.

Still, if you're concerned, ask for MCMI or MMPI. Ask for a proper and thorough psych eval and go from there. If she "doesn't like to label people" that's also, in my opinion, a red flag.

Thank you for your response Jasmer.

I did hear something similar to her "not liking labels" but I'm really not sure if it's because of how I talked about the "personality disorder labels," I told her I was pissed off about it because it sounds like a bunch of white dudes sat down one day and decided certain personalities are "wrong" which is pretty much how the DSM works.

I don't think I remember ever taking those.
I'll look them up and ask the psych about it, thanks again