Ignoring male waif

Be upfront, honest and set your boundaries so everything is clear.

Ignoring someone can send the wrong signals. Are you playing hard to get or do you really not want to talk to him anymore. He needs to know.

Thank you so much for all responses. It's very appreciate.


The thing is that we are in the same school and I have to see him everyday. Today I saw him and he looks miserable. His face and eyes told me everything. I feel so bad... I know it's because of me. It breaks my heart when I see him like that. I just wanted to go to him and hug him. I don't know what to do. I know the best thing is to just end things but I don't want hurt anyone. I don't want to see him in pain. It breaks me as well.

BTK483 wrote:I don't know what to do. I know the best thing is to just end things but I don't want hurt anyone. I don't want to see him in pain. It breaks me as well.

You need to be strong. I've been there too. I had a relationship with a woman who was very likely a BPD Waif. After numerous push-pull cycles I couldn't take it any more and went NC. It was very painful for both of us, but with hindsight particularly for her. I didn't know about BPD back then and I think my NC nearly destroyed her. But I HAD to leave for my own mental health.

We now have a relatively healthy, but safe friendship. We keep contact infrequent and brief. There are still odd moments where she storms off because she has taken some innocuous comment by me out of context. But those moments don't bother me as I am no longer emotionally invested in the friendship. And I know she will come back eventually once she calms down.

I hope you can remould your friendship into something more manageable too. Good luck.

What starts that push/pull? I know that the person I was involved with had alot of problems as it was confirmed by someone. But before I knew it, I felt like I was doing the push/pull dance. And it's not something I see me doing in the extreme with other people. I mean there is always a bit of a power play in any relationship, but I have never been that extreme with anyone. I am not BPD but do feel I can relate to some of the traits. Which I think were very activated with someone. But is it ever clear "who starts it"? Or does it matter? If both people are doing it at the end, isn't the only thing that matters is to stop and go NC and heal?