*TW* How to remove scars from self-harming?

I am not sure if any of you know a way to remove scars from self-harming. They are old scars (almost 20 years) but I think they may be preventing me from developing a relationship.

I noticed that I meet guys, we get on well and have fun but very quickly they want to be friends - I know they still want to sleep with me and hang out with me but just not be in a relationship with me. I can only imagine they freak out when they see my scars?

I really don't know. I would like to be in a relationship but I don't know what I am doing wrong.

The scars are on my inner arm - I mostly wear long sleeves to keep them covered but when I am driving or something like that - people often notice. Most people don't say anything about them for a long time.

I remember being admitted to hospital about 25 years ago - and there was a girl in my room that had cut herself - I remember looking at her and thinking OMG - she is a total mess.... I would never be like that! I forget that my scars are there but I can imagine how they must look to someone else....

Old scars are very hard to remove, maybe surgery would help. If these are so old well they are a part of your past now. You could cover them with professional makeup (maybe smth like dermablend) but in the long run, it would be good to find someone who accepts them. Maybe its not even the scars that keep you away from having a rship.

I've been thinking about it a lot too, I have faded many of mine with cocoa butter cream and neosporin, but some were a bit deeper so I have used retinol creams and vitamin E which has helped A LOT to fade them but they're still faintly there, I have one huge scar on my inner arm that is noticeable, I have looked into laser treatments as an option. I should give professional high pigmented make up a try. Hope this helps.

I've always used Bio oil. It's great for scars, stretch marks, eczema, etc. takes around 3 months to start working I believe, but it definitely helps reduce the visibility of SH scars.

If you ever find something effective let me know, I have some scars I've tried a lot to get rid of/fade more and nothing works.

I have a friend who said laser treatments were an expensive waste of her time. Hers are quite bad though and she still cuts, her entire left arm is actually rough to the touch and she can't cut very easily there anymore so she's moved on to new places. But you know, the reason I am telling you this is because I don't think scars are as big of a deal as it can seem to the person who has them. The first time I saw them I was a bit shocked, and concerned, and sympathetic (obviously as a person with BPD and scars)...but it didn't take me long to forget about them you know? At a certain point I just never gave them any thought. I don't think anyone who would leave somebody over some old scars is worth your time anyway.

I personally don't want mine faded or removed. I took precision in what I decorated myself with. I don't want to loose it. It defines me.

witchessabbath wrote:I don't think scars are as big of a deal as it can seem to the person who has them. The first time I saw them I was a bit shocked, and concerned, and sympathetic (obviously as a person with BPD and scars)...but it didn't take me long to forget about them you know? At a certain point I just never gave them any thought. I don't think anyone who would leave somebody over some old scars is worth your time anyway.

This is very wise and true.

I don't have scars from SH, but do have a huge one from open surgery to remove a kidney. It isn't pretty and you can still see where the staple marks were years later! However, I'm 39 soon and reason that I'll be all wrinkly soon and my boobs will be shining my shoes before I know it!

Well said

My aunt, who is the same age as me, slit her wrist in some kind of cry for help thing or whatever when she was younger, and I just tell her that there's no reason to hide her scars under wrist bands and what not, because by hiding it you're just making yourself vulnerable. If anybody sees your scars and ask questions, just say "Not that it's any of your business, but I wanted to kill myself, and I don't anymore."