BPD and college?

Prior to reading this thread, I hadn't really thought about it. I ...well...wasn't exactly good in the typical post-secondary system. It wasn't until I found a college that offered a 1 year, 40 hours a week program, solely in what I wanted to study, that I did well. I had the same teacher, the same class, and the same classroom, day in and day out.

It would appear to be a known issue among the schools, not just to us. A quick search online came back with the very first result being from University of Washington, outlining their accommodations policy for people with "psychiatric disabilities", of which BPD was specifically noted. it is slightly reassuring to know that some schools are not only aware of it, but are willing to do something about it.

BPD has affected my university, in different ways over the years though. I mean yeah there's the general impulsiveness, tendency to skip class/sleep in, but here are some of the big hurdles I encountered:

- This happened my first term. There was a class that I thought was BS so I skipped it all the time. This particular prof wasn't having it, and emailed me saying I needed a note as to why I had been absent all the time otherwise I'd get an F. Well, I decided that the response I was having to that was to withdraw from that course. But not just that course...university all together, even though I was doing well in my other classes. So I withdrew, got a term full of W's, lost all my tuition, and planned to work at the grocery store for the rest of my life. That changed fast, so I begged and pleaded the uni to let me start over.

- Then not too long after I got obsessed with a professor. It ended up being very detrimental to my education. I would skip classes so that she would think there was something wrong with me and give me attention. I would do all sorts of things to try and get closer to her, and it became my sole focus. I didn't concentrate in class, I just plotted ways to get closer to her. Jealousy kicked in when there was this sweet little girl in the class who the professor had a soft spot for, God I hated that bitch even though she actually was perfect. Unfortunately, this went on for several terms as the prof enabled a lot of it by letting me get unusually close to her. Thankfully she did cut it off once I got too cray cray. After she cut it off, I became an honor student and got lots of scholarships, lol, guess she wasn't as good for me as I thought.

- I had one incident near the end of my undergrad with one prof. I wasn't attached to her but it was a weird dynamic. She made me feel crazy...I think it was just my life at the time too...but I just got real messed up, didn't shower, didn't dress properly, I felt really really paranoid too that I was being watched and that the university was tracking me. It got so bad that she asked me to go to the food bank because she thought I was homeless.

- I got better in grad school, I stopped messing around quite so much, and I have a decent relationship with my supervisor. My BPD only plays a minor role in our relationship. However, my BPD did affect the teaching I did because I became attracted to some of my female students. Yes, this happened multiple times lol there was basically a crush every term. It was more distracting than anything else. I never got into any trouble and stayed fairly neutral to them in practice, but one girl almost got the better of me. She was pretty hot and she wasn't doing very well, and she was definitely flirting with me, wanting time outside my office hours. I accepted that a few times, and it was clear that she was testing the waters so I pushed her away. Not going to lie, I think about that one a LOT, it would have been so fun, heh, but I didn't have many prospects and I didn't want a student to claim I took advantage.

I forgot how messed up I was. Really, looking back, it makes a lot of sense that I was so tired all the time. I didn't really attribute it to BPD at the time...it was suggested to me by a few people, but I told them to ###$ off at the time because I thought BPD was something made up to stigmatize people.

Did/does anybody on here suffer from exam anxiety and/or migraine?