What Actually Triggers You?

Or actually, what lengths do you go to (to avoid being 'triggered'?).

Being ignored...
Being wrongfully accused..
Someone giving me lots of attention then suddenly stopping with no explanation or reason..
People staring at me..
People cancelling plans at the last minute..
People not calling/texting/emailing when they say they will..
Not being able to get ahold of people and not knowing why..
Boyfriend not answering his phone or not texting me back..

Not much you can do to avoid being triggered apart from avoiding people and relationships completely.

###########TRIGGER WARNING################





My biggest trigger is hearing or seeing young children crying or in pain. Or even some nursery rhymes. I could never figure out why until recently why I would ball up into a fetal position and cry. I was mourning my own childhood. Feeling the waves of grief wash over me for when I was called all sorts of names, thrown down the stairs, slapped and had my head banged against the wall.

justagirl00 wrote:Being ignored...
Being wrongfully accused..
Someone giving me lots of attention then suddenly stopping with no explanation or reason..
People staring at me..
People cancelling plans at the last minute..
People not calling/texting/emailing when they say they will..
Not being able to get ahold of people and not knowing why..
Boyfriend not answering his phone or not texting me back..

All this too.

I get really frustrated and panic trying to deal with hospital/insurance bureaucracy
and crying babies
my mom
making wrong turns or missing exits

everything other than myself
there was a time when everything triggered me. even if someone was playing music in the neighborhood i found it annoying. tv shows annoyed me. i was like some dictator who wants power over everyone n everything.

now things that trigger me are:
violence of any kind. physical or verbal.
people ganging up on others. imposing their will on others.
even stuff like reading a news about a professor not allowing a student to give exams cause he entered the class late annoys me
people emotionally blackmailing others.

Sentences that start with, "Remember when you..." I pretty much avoid anyone who remembers anything about me.

People being aggressive or hostile. I grew up in a very violent atmosphere and I can't handle it. These days I get more angry than scared though. Everything feels like I'm being attacked.

I have a lot of traumatic memories, and a lot of phobias... so there's quite a lot of specific triggers.

I lost someone when I was young... she just disappeared one day. She was kidnapped. She was like a little sister, but more. I've never loved anyone the way I loved her. Anything that reminds me of her is torture. But I don't avoid it.

Generally I don't avoid my triggers. Except people from my past.

When people talk about other people they know when I'm getting to know them, especially a girl I like.
I gotta remind myself that there's another person there with an entire life.

My usual triggers are:

- Traffic
- Criticism of any kind
- Crowded grocery stores, crowded streets
- Friends showing up late or canceling plans, or telling me these things at the last minute
- Friends "not being there" for me in the same ways I feel like I've been there for them.
- Being ignored
- Being interrupted during a conversation as I feel like I'm a great listener.
- Noisy upstairs neighbors.

How I deal with my triggers:

Until recently, I wasn't even aware of having BPD, and now that I am, the awareness has been huge. I don't sweat the small stuff so much anymore…not as much anyway. I try to remember that I have to share the world with several other individual beings, blah, blah, blah. And if that doesn't work, I visualize the scenario of me losing my $#%^ over simple little things, you know, being that asshole in the grocery store that people will talk about with their friends later…and I certainly do not want to be that person. So, if all else fails, that certainly does the trick.

justagirl00 wrote:Being ignored...
Being wrongfully accused..
Someone giving me lots of attention then suddenly stopping with no explanation or reason..
People staring at me..
People cancelling plans at the last minute..
People not calling/texting/emailing when they say they will..
Not being able to get ahold of people and not knowing why..
Girlfriend not answering her phone or not texting me back..

This. And some other things:

When people talk behind my back.
When people whisper one to the other in my presence.
When people bluff with threats.
When people consier themselves superior.
When people judge/criticize/insult me.
When people don't take my complaints seriously.
When people try to manipulate me.
When people try to "cure" me.
When people don't keep their promises.
Superficial people.

I actually have fairly few triggers, barring particular words/insults - selfish, lazy, thoughtless (that's a big one), and a collection of other words that I find particularly difficult, especially in argumentative contexts.

The only other one is when I can sense people are lying/deceiving/hiding something. And that's about it, actually! I suppose I'm fairly lucky in that regard.

(oh, and a mortal phobia of anybody touching my neck... I always forget that one...)