Inability and a rant about crap. *TW possibly*

Hey all, i hope you're doing well. Feel free just to skim over, I'm just having a rant about things that are bothering me.

I know this could just be a symptom of depression or a symptom of BPD but does anyone else just feel this lack to care about things? I mean, on social media, i see a lot of people caring about things and i find I'm very indifferent to it, like bands they are going to see or people, etc. I mean, i don't get excited about things like they do, its like a dull sort of feeling to be honest. I was speaking with someone earlier about music and i realise that i don't really care for such things as whose in the band, it doesn't bother me and I'm just getting bored easily so I'm ending the conversation.

I made a new friend, he is quite nice, we make a lot of sexual innuendoes which is fun and i haven't told him about my mental problems but there was a weird moment yesterday when i was having food with him and this woman started to talk about the movie ''Girl Interrupted'' in which i immediately thought the world was punishing me for or whispering to me that it ######6 owned me and no matter what i did, this would always haunt me and be an issue for me to connect to people so after she stopped speaking, i said to him ''That movie is about a young woman with a personality disorder'' etc, as i have an interest in psychology, i was hoping it would pass off as that which it did.

On another note, finding that my mood is not really improving with things, emptiness isn't really helping and I'm becoming a lot more short tempered like the fact that my mother will walk past my room and she isn't picking up her feet, my mood snapped and almost threw my laptop at the wall, scaring my cat. I would like to talk to her but she has mental issues of her own she doesn't want to confront so I'm just going to leave it and give it another week or two before i end up talking to her or the fact that I'm attending a party with my new friend and another friend is trying to separate us, i have the feeling she doesn't like me which i don't really care for but she has something odd about her I'm curious to find out.

A happier note too - I start working in two weeks, yay!

I hope you enjoyed my rant.

About the indifference towards social media, many people have that. even i dont care much about social media, nowadays.

i think it's about intelligence and maturity. the more intelligent, mature and experienced you get in life, the more you start being indifferent to minor things. it takes more to stimulate my emotions and grab my attention.

its completely all right. some people are die hard football fans, others dont really care. some like celebrities(the paparazzi culture), some prefer to spend time with family and friends.

some like to have dinner at some five star restaurant with their colleagues(all sophistication and elite), some prefer to go on picnic with friends...

surround yourself with people around whom you are comfortable...that helps me a lot. about anger...at times anger is justified, like if there is a intruder entering through the window, then yanking the laptop at him is justified but then at times it can result in hazardous consequences...in the case you noted...

what helped me deal with my anger is...

anger is at times justified, so that helped me reduce the guilt associated with it, that it's ok to be angry
anger is often pent up frustration. like i'm constantly irritated at someone and then i'll snap. i try to diverge the energy elsewhere. if i am mad at someone, i'll write a story with that person as a 'not so nice' character. release the emotions, that helps a lot.

take care...you'll get good help on this forum...

ranting does not work
ether fix the problem or let it go

ppl who do look like weak bitches to me (male and female) lazy and stupid
emotions don't work to solve a problem
a brain does

it's like shewing bubblegum to solve and a math problem

lol. nevermind.

Just an update, i don't have a friend anymore and i'm still pretty pissed about things.