Newbie here... can we get out of this hell?

Hello,

First of all I apologize if my English is not the best, as Spanish is my main language.

I am a 30 year old guy and my life has been a living hell since the past 10 years or so, when I started having love relationships. I did not have any prior experience before that as I had a very lonely childhood.

Some years ago I went to therapy a couple of times and they told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder, but I didn't care much about it at that time as all I wanted was to get rid of these horrible feeling of emptiness every time I brake up with someone.

Now things have not improved and now I am pretty sure I do have this disorder. I am extremely paranoid and can barely think of another think during the day excepting for that particular thing that is bugging me. I trust nobody, I even think my closest friends are cheating me with my ex partners. Some days I feel the luckiest guy in the world and other days I just can't get out of bed.

I could tell you a lot of things that make me a BPD. I would like to know if it is possible to get out of this and if I can expect to have a normal life. I started therapy again.

Well thank you a lot for reading me. I really needed to tell this to someone.

I'm a newbie too and newly diagnosed I hope for a better way of life, hopefully it will come through therapy I know I will never be "normal" but don't want to be lol
I am all for living in the hope I can learn through therapy, just having the diagnosis is half the battle because before I thought it was just me "the weirdo" now I know what I am fighting I'm up for it xx

Hi Amilleros,
yes, love is a bugger and a trap for BPD. It is probably THE trap. We fall in love so deeply and so completely that it can come close to a total loss of touch with reality. We become so blind that we do not see even the obvious. We become so attached that when everything goes badly it feels like our soul has been shredded into pieces.
Does it get better?
Yes/No.
The emotional disregulation that characterizes BPD stays forever. This is not a bad thing always, it enables immediate empathic connection with people, it can be put to good use. What does it mean? That we will always feel "more" than others. More intensely. Everything. Joy and pain. Love and hate.
What can change? The way we deal with the emotional disregulation. This can effectively be changed with therapy (NO MEDS, Psychotherapy) and a lot of personal work on oneself. This means becoming very self aware of ones symptoms, triggers and reaction. It means finding the right coping mechanism so that external behavior does not clash to extremely with the "normal" reality.
So for example. When obsession about the person sets in … instead of bugging them trying to develop some alternative (es. call somebody else, write, come to this forum, listen to music, go out on a rampage ) … Ok it doesn't always work but it is one of the only ways to come out of the hell and never-ending samsara of happy -- flying -- crash -- despair -- hell … it means beginning to steer behaviors in the right direction. This does not kill the pain but it makes it bearable and enable people to live "nearly" normal lives.

I must say… why cannot people just simply start feeling more instead of forcing us to feel less??? ah … better not to go down this road.

good luck. do the therapy. it works.

Depends on how hard you try.

As with many things in life.

Knowledge of anxiety made me more anxious. And so forth. Break the chain at n=2.

borderline-personality/topic148184.html

yes if you get therapy and are willing to be venerable and give up part of your identety

madjoe wrote:http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personality/topic148184.html

yes if you get therapy and are willing to be venerable and give up part of your identety

(would i have started that pop with this everyone would have reacted defensive and it would not have worked
there is a methode to my madness)