Will probably get shot down for this but here goes........

I haven't been here very long but was starting to settle in to the forum even started unpacking
Then I discover the sexual forum and the topics in there and now I'm kind of not comfortable anymore
I know I know........ Your going to say if I don't like it don't go there but it's the knowing it's there
Does that in some way mean that I condone it for being on the forum?
Maybe I'm over sensitive but being an abuse survivor I would be
Let me take cover first before you start shooting

All kinds of nasty crap in the world unfortunately. So don't go there unless you can take the heat of it I suppose. That sort of thing, the abuse of children, I want only to exterminate the perpetrators.

Sorry that your childhood was not what it could have been and the scars of it haunt you in the present.
At the same time, do your best not to let the BPD symptoms damage your relationships with people that care about you.

Hey, yes PF is a huge place for people with different issues. Just like we need help, they do too, right? If you feel triggered by what you see in other forums, yes probably staying away would be the best choice. Self preservation is important. This is a choice you will have to make for yourself.

*TW*
I don't visit the self harm forums because even thou i am self harm free for a couple of years, the urges can come back if i go on a section that is fully dedicated to it.

Sounds to me like they don't all act on the feelings, a big part of me wants to understand it I think it might help me move on not sure though
Thanks for your advice

-- Wed Sep 10, 2014 12:25 pm --

Yes I do agree that they need somewhere to talk about it and get help.
Won't be the first to be a little shocked and won't be the last
I'm the same with the self harm forum I won't go in there

Hmm...maybe write your own story and post it and only check your own thread. Would that work?

It's very supportive in there. Crackedgirl is very active on the forum.

I also think you don't need to make a decision right now. Post and read what you feel comfortable with, and when you do. There is a time and place for everything. Take it easy on yourself.

Goth_Rainbow wrote:Sounds to me like they don't all act on the feelings, a big part of me wants to understand it I think it might help me move on not sure though
Thanks for your advice

I wouldn't go in there, honestly. I don't think that would help you move on. Someone hurt you and they are responsible for what they did. I think that it is important to understand that it was them and not "pedophilia". There's a person behind the action. People have sexual urges or attractions that they can't control. They can control their actions, but perhaps they can't control having them. It's good people who use the boards as a way to vent and avoid acting on their impulses rather than actually doing so.

As much as that board fills me with disgust and as open a person as I am about sexuality, I don't think I could ever date or marry or even sleep with someone who had those sexual interests. I only feel extreme pity for those people. It would be a horrible thing to deal with.

I feel like as a person with BPD who has hurt people in the past without realizing it or being in control of it, I can understand their struggle. While it's nowhere near that scale, I can see how painful it is to feel like part of who you are has the capability to hurt someone.

I'm sorry that happened to you and that you were triggered by that section of the boards. I don't think it should be a reason to leave, but you really should just do what's best for your mental health and only you can decide that. <3

There's a person behind the action.

Yup....and very much aware of what they are doing in some cases.

Explosive rage is "clean" compared to some of the crap I have seen happen and done which required a great deal of premeditation and deliberation. That...is different. Then comes the cover up.

I don't think I could ever date or marry or even sleep with someone who had those sexual interests.

Kind of a r/s killer I would agree. Just not worth to have that around.

Goth_Rainbow wrote:I haven't been here very long but was starting to settle in to the forum even started unpacking
Then I discover the sexual forum and the topics in there and now I'm kind of not comfortable anymore
I know I know........ Your going to say if I don't like it don't go there but it's the knowing it's there
Does that in some way mean that I condone it for being on the forum?
Maybe I'm over sensitive but being an abuse survivor I would be
Let me take cover first before you start shooting

I clearly see this from your perspective and I get you. I know why you feel the ways that you do.

What if the things that you deal with made someone entirely uncomfortable? How would you recommend they address it?

I recommend working on radical acceptance and commitment therapy or, in the very least, use aspects of it to learn to accept the existence of the sexual forum without triggering. Imagine being able to think about it without stress. Would that make your life or your experience on the forum here more comfortable?

Thanks for your replies and good advice
I go through phases of wanting answers then i realise I wouldn't ever get them I have accepted what happened to me, I know I will never understand it though so best to keep it that way.
If nothing else I have learnt that they aren't all monsters that act out their feelings