Ever compare BPD to demonic possession ? *TW*

I see BPD as being very much like demonic possession, in many ways. Anyone else feel this way ?

- When you're around people (nons), they can instinctively sense that you're different. You're possessed, they're not. All animals on this Earth, as far as I know, have been taught by God to sense danger. To most strangers I come across, I AM danger.
- The demon makes you do things you wouldn't normally do (tell your boss to f**k himself, emotional outbursts, pushing people away)
- The demon won't let you do things you want to do (make friends, ask someone out, leave your house, get out of your bed)
- You try to kill the demon by hurting yourself (cutting, burning, wrist banging, etc)
- The internal pain caused by the demon comes out in many forms (e.g. tears)

I'm convinced that I'm possessed, despite my knowledge of BPD and all. What good is f**king science and medicine if we're signed in to this forum everyday complaining ? There's got to be a spiritual component or dimension to our suffering. I'm also convinced that I can only be saved by God.

Anyone know about the story of the German girl Anneliese Michel ? Several movies about her have been made - Requiem (German), The Exorcism of Emily Rose, etc.

I'm so amazed by her story, and have even fantasized about starving myself to death, with scars all over my body (Anneliese looked almost demonic at death), to show the world that it was a demon that killed me.

I wanted to live, but the demon didn't let me.

I see BPD as being very much like demonic possession, in many ways. Anyone else feel this way ?

Umm, no, and I don't mind saying that I find the title of this thread a little offensive, if not a little inflammatory too. This whole post just seems to kind of 'demonize' (NO pun intended ) this disorder and those that have it.

I'm getting pissy so I'm just going to stop there before I get myself banned or something.

blank identity wrote:

I see BPD as being very much like demonic possession, in many ways. Anyone else feel this way ?

Umm, no, and I don't mind saying that I find the title of this thread a little offensive, if not a little inflammatory too. This whole post just seems to kind of 'demonize' (NO pun intended ) this disorder and those that have it.

I'm getting pissy so I'm just going to stop there before I get myself banned or something.

I'm sorry you feel that way, because it was not at all my intention to offend anyone. I never meant to imply that everyone who has BPD is possessed. It was just an expression of my opinion and a question asking if anyone else was able to relate to my feelings.

Again, I'm sorry that I offended you.

I'm just moody. Forget it. I've been pissy lately.

I just felt that the idea that BPD was akin to demonic possession was only stigmatizing further an already stigmatized disorder.

And it is a disorder, and one we developed in childhood to adapt to otherwise very hostile home environments.

I just found it offensive and didn't stop to think about what was being said.

So I'm sorry about that. It's kind of a touchy subject for me.

Nope.

green m+m wrote:Nope.

Thanks. I guess I'm different in this regard as well.

I'm also not particularly partial to idea and I think it's mildly offensive. But I know you weren't trying to offend anyone and this is among us people with BPD people and not a non saying BPD people are demons or something. And I've seen you around enough and think you're a good guy. So it's fine.

I don't believe in God so I don't believe in being saved or in possession. I believe in science and brain chemistry and research. If you've look into it enough, you'll find that our brains are different from nons'. It is partially an invalidating environment and partially genetics. There is a biological basis for BPD. This isn't often recognized because people like to blame those with axis II disorders for their suffering.

I don't think we're going to be stuck on here complaining every day. I think that people do get better and that treatment can work. I think some of us need these boards when we're going through hard times. I don't think many people who have made a lot of progress with their BPD or are recovered really feel the need to come on here, so the perspectives represented are skewed.

Mental illlness is like any other illness. Our body isn't working as it should. Our brains process things in ways that harm us. Our suffering has no greater or lesser value than someone who struggles with chronic physical illness. Suffering has no reason. People say that it's because without pain we wouldn't know happiness, but that's BS. To suffer is human. I've already quoted Beckett in my signature but this makes me think of another quote of his that I enjoy. "You're on Earth. There's no cure for that."

Do I feel trapped and helpless sometimes? Yeah. Do I sometimes feel like I have no control of my emotions? Definitely. But the thing inside me is a scared, vulnerable child, not an evil demon.

*TW* (A TW would be nice when you talk about self-harming or starving. Just for future reference.)
And there are many reasons why people self-harm. It's about a release for me and it makes me feel better and more relaxed. I also sometimes do it to punish myself. I'm rarely feel like I'm doing it to rid myself of something, although I know some people feel "clean" or "absolved" when they self-harm.

Oh and people aren't often afraid of me. At least I don't think so..

It's interesting that you talked about wanting to starve yourself. I think it's an overestimate but according to studies, 50% of people with BPD have co-morbid eating disorders. I've had food issues all of my life. Even though it's subsided significantly, I've often thought about starving myself to death in order for people to understand and acknowledge my suffering. If I'm going to be in pain, I want control over it and I want it to be visible. I feel like $hit so I want to look like $hit. The only thing that's kept me from restricting on bad days now is losing muscle mass. Hah.

blank identity wrote:I'm just moody. Forget it. I've been pissy lately.

I just felt that the idea that BPD was akin to demonic possession was only stigmatizing further an already stigmatized disorder.

And it is a disorder, and one we developed in childhood to adapt to otherwise very hostile home environments.

I just found it offensive and didn't stop to think about what was being said.

So I'm sorry about that. It's kind of a touchy subject for me.

I agree with your post so much, especially the marked paragraph.
You were right with what you said before, and I don't think you had anything to apologize for.

I am a non-BPD and I think that comparing this disorder to possession is taking things too far, especially in a weird direction. I wish Jesus and God were the answer for everything, but they have yet to "cure" cancer and all these mental/ personality disorders.
This thread is not appropriate for a forum where sensitive people go and can get easily triggered.

Alright, I wish I could delete this post, but I don't think I can. Most moderators say (in their signatures) that "we don't delete posts", so I'm not sure if they can, either.

Sorry

lilodian4ever wrote:Alright, I wish I could delete this post, but I don't think I can. Most moderators say (in their signatures) that "we don't delete posts", so I'm not sure if they can, either.

Sorry

Meh.

I've seen much more offensive posts written by non's but no one seemed to give a f*ck but me.

But you put the word "demon" in there and suddenly everyone's offended.

Don't feel bad, Lilodian. I understand where you were coming from. And I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing feeling like there's a demon trapped inside you. All of us have the feelings of helplessness and self-loathing that I think that comes from.