New Member

Hi All
I was told yesterday that I have BPD - I always knew there was something wrong with me - as I had problems for years (I am 40). I have struggled with BPD for a long time - but as I got older it seems to have gotten harder for me to cope with!
It was a weird day yesterday - I really wanted to know what was wrong with me - but when I found out I was in shock and didn't know how to feel or how to respond to what I had just heard. I sort of felt numb ...what does BPD mean ? I have alot of the symptoms I guess - crying for no reason , racing thoughts , can't sleep at night, or sleeping for days, at the other extreme, rage, loss of jobs in the past, sabatoging relationships , pushing people away that I care about the most etc... sexually permiscious.. all of them - but never knew that it was associated with BPD !!!
So I found this forum and I hope to learn new info ...I cannot go back to my job as I was in crisis work as a Social Worker (my doctor told me I cannot work in crisis work any longer and had to resign yesterday) and I have no idea what my future holds - one thing I am scared of is what do I tell a future employer why I left my job ?? Do I say I have BPD ? Do I tell the truth - will I be discriminated against ? How does society look upon people with this disease?
I was shoched when my Psy. told me that it was a disease and there is really no cure for it - she put me on meds - but it will not cure it - so I am at a loss for words ...
How do you all cope .... I know I have survived this far ...but the older I get the harder it becomes to hide it and the systoms ... I feel medically sicker (Memory Loss etc...) than I have been in years and I have no idea where to go from here - any suggestions ????
Thanks for allowing me to be part of this group - I hope to learn from all of you with this disease and how you cope day to day - I need some pointers !
Thanks
Firecracker

Hi and welcome to the the psychforums.

"So I found this forum and I hope to learn new info ...I cannot go back to my job as I was in crisis work as a Social Worker (my doctor told me I cannot work in crisis work any longer and had to resign yesterday) and I have no idea what my future holds"

You know this is kind of odd for me to read. I mean did you function well as a crisis worker inspite of your condition? Did being BPD and working in this capacity trigger any bad BPD episodes for you?

If not I think your doctor jumped the gun a bit on having you quit your job...

"one thing I am scared of is what do I tell a future employer why I left my job ?? Do I say I have BPD ? Do I tell the truth - will I be discriminated against ?"

In my opinion it should be none of an employer's business to know what you suffer from unless it endangers the lives of others and BPD only really does this in extreme cases of it and when the BPDer is involved romantically with someone and the relationship is crumbling.

As for being discriminated against it wouldn't surprise me a bit so if I were you I'd just say that I quit the job because I was bored with it or the more truthful thing you could say is I quit the job because I felt it best for me to find a new one at this point in my life.

"How does society look upon people with this disease?"

Well not favorably due to all the pain it causes to both BPDers and victims of BPDers.

The main reason its looked down upon and feared even is because of the lack of true public understanding of what exactly it is and means to be BPD.

Blanket statements abound that women and men with it are crazy and psycho when in reality a BPD is neither.

Emotional instability is the main thing with BPD from the abandonment issues and lack of a true and fully developed self.

"I was shoched when my Psy. told me that it was a disease and there is really no cure for it - she put me on meds - but it will not cure it - so I am at a loss for words ..."

Well I've heard it be called a disease of intimacy but most other things I've studied refer to it not as a disease but a personality disorder.

Since a PD is a person's whole personality usually they can only be treated to overcome harmful effects on their life from it. In some instances a person can be fully cured of their PD but in most cases a person just learns more effective coping techniques and ways of defeating the PD's negative thoughts and desires that are self destructive to that person all too often.

Also though I've read of some studies on BPD that combine certain medications that eliminate BPD symptoms completely in general drugs are not used for PD's as they have been said to be ineffective at combating them which makes me question whether your therapist was just throwing drugs at the problem because she is not familiar with the DBT method of treating it.

Sadly not all mental health professionals are up to speed on how to treat the Cluster B Personality Disorders or have outright refused to treat patients with the disorders due to the difficulties often involved with such patients being demanding manipulative or both or even the therapists own lack of faith at treatments working.

"How do you all cope .... I know I have survived this far ...but the older I get the harder it becomes to hide it and the systoms ... I feel medically sicker (Memory Loss etc...) than I have been in years and I have no idea where to go from here - any suggestions ????
Thanks for allowing me to be part of this group - I hope to learn from all of you with this disease and how you cope day to day - I need some pointers !
Thanks
Firecracker"

I'd try a few more therapists if I were you and ask about the DBT therapy for BPD.

Currently that seems the best chance for BPDers to get better.

Hi Kontroller X
You said
Also though I've read of some studies on BPD that combine certain medications that eliminate BPD symptoms completely in general drugs are not used for PD's as they have been said to be ineffective at combating them which makes me question whether your therapist was just throwing drugs at the problem because she is not familiar with the DBT method of treating it.
can you tell me what DBT actaully stands for - I am new at all of this.

You know this is kind of odd for me to read. I mean did you function well as a crisis worker inspite of your condition? Did being BPD and working in this capacity trigger any bad BPD episodes for you?

Yes I wasn't coping well at work as I was being triggered lots in my job (I was working with abused women in a local shelter-I loved my job - but I was becoming sicker and sicker due to the many triggers I was facing in my work with the women that I was working with.) I hid it it well - I was able to mask alot of my sickness for many years - no-one ever knew (except my daughter). But as I have gotten older - it has surfaced and has gotten much worse where I cannot mask it or control it any longer !

I thank you for your wisdom and inspiration. Once I figure out what DBT is - I will ask my therapist about it !!! I have a counsellor - but she is unaware of my assessment as of yet - but I see her next week - so she will be informed - as for my PSY. - she is one of the best in Ontario and works in the women's prison's here as well - she has high recommendations in the Province - as she is a women's PSY only and only sees women with Psy. disorders - so I have faith in her - I have to at this point - as she hit the nail on the head with this disorder that I have. Even though she really didn't know me - she told me more about me than I wanted to share with her - and it was all true !
Sort of scary - to have someone know you - but someone who doesn't know you at all !
Thanks you for your info.

Firecracker

http://apt.rcpsych.org/cgi/content/full/8/1/10

Here is a link on DBT.

DBT stands for Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.

Anyway I'm glad your doctor is one of the best all around.

I just hope she knows about this therapy as even the good ones sometimes don't.

I am 46 and have been diagnosed for some time with BPD and avoidence PD. It is hard to live with whether you know what it is or not. Being diagnosed has helped me access information and reach other sufferers. The isolation can be unbearable. I am new to this site so I cannot tell you whether it helps yet. I do hope so though as I am going through a bad patch at the moment.

Firecracker,

I am new, too.

I have a nice link also to DBT online help. I found it helpful, but my therapist quit me and since I have not been good at trying to implement it. I think if you can afford a therapist, it helps to work DBT with one, because it makes us accountable to someone other than ourselves. When we are 'only' accountable to ourselves, and then the sense of self vanishes... well... there goes the program?

Anyway, here is the Link-
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/

I hope this helps... and it is good you got the diagnoses I think? Because now you can access the tools to help you.

((((((hugs)))))))

S