Liars?

I feel ashamed to admit this for tH first time ever but have to know, is there anyone else out there who tells lies with bpd. I mean bad lies? its like I cant stop myself, if I feel someones about to abandon me I tell a lie... pregnant or a family member just got cancer... etc. Its out of pure desperation so that person sticks around... tries to be there... and maybe then will love me

megan05 wrote:I feel ashamed to admit this for tH first time ever but have to know, is there anyone else out there who tells lies with bpd. I mean bad lies? its like I cant stop myself, if I feel someones about to abandon me I tell a lie... pregnant or a family member just got cancer... etc. Its out of pure desperation so that person sticks around... tries to be there... and maybe then will love me

After we'd had a row my ex partner (BPD) phoned me and told me that his brother had committed suicide.
He hadn't.

My ex was a BPD, and she lied alot, especially when she thought our relationship was threatened. I know now she was very emotionally sick, but that does not excuse her considering only what she wanted when she lied. She hurt alot of people due to her insecurities, and I never saw any evidence of remorse. Yes, I have lied too- everyone has at one time or another. When a persons lies pose great risk to others that are innocent victims, it's time to "get out of self", and put others needs over your own. The only way you'll feel good enough to do this is to give your heart to Christ. I'm a recovering Alcoholic, but having an addiction did not excuse my behavior. Only God can heal our hearts- medicine nor therapy has the needed permanent affect on the heart. They are temporay solutions to a perrmanent problem, so we need a permanent solution. God is the only permanent solution- period. Medication and counseling can be helpful, but w/o God, the help will only be temporary.

Thanks for all of your replies. To answer your question littlearcher yes it did, for a while and I never got caught out. As soon as id tell the lie I knew what I was doing was wrong and that it made me a bad person (I would hate to be lied to) but when I get that scared it just comes out. Anything to bide time from that person. It did - I got sympathy and some compassion and deep down I know it probably only got more time because they felt sorry for me not because they want me. But overall, no I lost them through other behaviour. I don't do it and then think yes, go me! I hate myself for it and how low I will stoop. But id rather that then face them leave.

I don't usually lie to people when I feel I am going to lose them, but I act like a victim... I am like " I had a really bad past and blablabla"

I don't have BPD but I want to answer this question, lol.

I used to be a prolific liar to the point of it being daft, but at some point I learned to control the situations I'd lie in.
Nowadays I'm a lot more truthful, but I've still tended to use bending truths a little too far. Lying can be something I do have to rationalize if it isn't really beneficial because its obviously stupid in some situations.
Bending the truth is easier to rationalize than outright lying. Something I figure I need to learn is that if it seems unclear what's "really the truth" its a sign of rationalization, and if I'm needing to rationalize what I'm communicating its a sign my mind is actually screaming out against doing it, i.e. on some level I know what I am doing is detrimental to me, but I'm also attempting to self-sabbotage.

i.e. while reading this question I've realised its much better to lie and be 100% clear about what you're doing than say anything at all when you're unclear on what you're doing and why. Stop.. walk away.. ask "am I trying to screw up my life again? and if so, why."

[Thought] "My life is over because of my medical record" > [reality] "I feel powerless to do what I really want with my life, I'll blame it on my medical record instead of trying to work around it".

Result of failing to recognise > self sabbotage - make medical record even worse, make fear manifest as truth. Doh.
No feeling sorry for myself - I screwed up, consequences are on me - shut up work on the issues I do have [clearly some to get going with. ] and get on with my life... its on me to learn to let go of issues/regret surrounding that.

I do that to, i am a liar, i lie a lot, but i am a few steps forward lol i lie like a professional, i believe my own lies, so weird, and also i lie without thinking about it, without making decisions to lie, i lie automatically , not only like a habit, like a normal process in my mind. And also i pretend that i had an awful life in the past, actually i had by i really exaggerate everything. And sometimes it takes seconds or minutes or even days for me to figure out things that i said was a lie, the truth is sth else, ahhh what a mess

the truth is most ppl can't handle the truth
they say they know and are afraid to admit they don't they make stuff up construcked with bad information and half true (you see a flash of what's going on and you make up the rest)
all perception is subjective
than there's things you want to be true
you convince yourself that it is/must be like that because the other options are 2hard to swallow
than ther's the other lies that ppl consider bad
i lie all the time but i know i lie (i don't need to lie to myself)
if you don't know you are lieing is it not bad (being stupid is an excuse ? lol)
i'm thinking bpd's problebe lie a lot in distress (does that count?)

Arises a I'm exactly the same. I also really really exaggerate my past and I forget sometimes what happened and what I've said happened?

And madjoe I really like to think that maybe it makes us and the lies less bad. Because, they come out under distress and in desperation. I'd rather not but sometimes it feels my only mechanism in situations, do you feel that? That it is the ONLY thing at that point that you can do because there's nothing you feel you really have to offer or to tell

-- Mon Nov 25, 2013 10:58 pm --

Arrisa*

I used to lie to my husband when I was having affairs.

I used to lie about little things because I was conditioned to lie. I would be severely abused
for owning up to stuff as a child. So I would lie to try to protect myself.

Now I don't lie.

Maybe I am lying to myself to avoid taking risks. I want to be true to myself and authentic.
That is where my head and heart are at for my soul's journey here.