Using body dysmorphia as a coping mechanism for BPD

I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but I have had Body Dysmorphia since I was about 8 years old.I have done the craziest stuff in the name of it, and it has completely ruled my life. However, I am so scared to lose it because it's obsessive compulsive rituals help to control my emotional instability. It's like drugs to me. Has anyone had something similar- a disorder that is harmful to you, but helps control your emotions so you kind of don't really want to lose it?

Hopeisreal wrote:. Has anyone had something similar- a disorder that is harmful to you, but helps control your emotions so you kind of don't really want to lose it?

self injury

I think i use my ED and body dysmorphia to avoid taking healthy risks . It's a defense mechanism
that my "ego" (not in the Freudian sense) uses to keep me away from Spirit or my highest Self.

It's an ego distortion I am really trying to bring into balance right now.

The body obsession is the elephant in the room that needs to be addressed.

I once went to this lecture given by a Buddhist monk. He said he just looks at everyone as
skeletons. That is how he was able to get over viewing people as bodies, that are good or bad,
attractive or unattractive.

monkey66 wrote:I think i use my ED and body dysmorphia to avoid taking healthy risks . It's a defense mechanism

I have recently had the same realisation. I never realised it before, but my body dysmorphia gives me 'secondary gain.' I can use it to avoid life, and as I am a very sensitive person whose world has been negatively coloured by an abusive past, my brain wants to avoid life. My body dysmorphia helps me to shut down and shut out life.

Hopeis real,

It's me too exactly. Imagine what we can be (our true selves) and how much happier we can
be if we took the focus off our bodies?

I am ready to end this pattern