borderline traits...

a few months ago, I discovered I had bpd, and got a therapist. My therapist said she didnt think I had it, because I dont engage in frantic effort to avoid abandonment (I havent done that in years), engage in self harm, or suicidal ideation. When I asked to be diagnosed using the criteria, she said I have "borderline traits", but I dont have a personality disorder. What does this even mean? i thought I had everything figured out (black and white thinking heh). I cant decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing...that means I'm capable of not acting like a complete lunatic, but I do anyways.

I think she means you are not Full Blown, however that doesn't mean you are not BPD, you are just not a very serious case. I think that's a good thing. You are resilient enough to have resisted developing all the symptoms, despite having a predisposition to the disorder. It shows strength and resilience on your part. I don't think she means it like "You are a Non, you just act crazy sometimes, a BPD can't help it, but you can." She has acknowledged you have traits, but maybe do not fit enough criteria for a full blown diagnosis. That doesn't mean you don't deserve as much validation, empathy, support, and care as a full blown BPD though. You are just a little further along in the healing process.