Anger In Therapy Problem

Hi there, I am new. I am diagnosed with BPD and severe depression. I just have a question that I wondered if any of you guys know what to do about.

I have been going to various types of therapy for a long time and I have always had this annoying problem, which I have been trying all different types of ways to deal with it. But yet it still happens... uhg! The therapists cannot help me either... they prefer to just terminate me instead, lol.

Its about the BPD rage. Always when I go to therapy, I seem to get so angry and just go off my head! Not physically violent (I fight that urge) but I get really, really nasty verbally. Triggers are many and varied. None of the therapists I have had can handle it and I get terminated quick smart. They tell me to express my anger in the sessions (because expressing anger is good! they say) and then when I do, I get terminated. I have tried all the textbook other stuff like expressing anger in other ways like being assertive, exercise, etc but no luck.

Anyone else have the same problem or any tips?

have you tried any meds for said anger?

If this is in sessions with a professionally qualified therapist who you pay, they're a bunch of pussies.

If this is happening with friends and partners etc. its a different story because there's personal involvement and they're not interacting with the same (imbalanced, boundaried) situation that a therapist is.

There are some places that allow you to go there and break things with a baseball bat. I've always wanted to check out one of these places to see if it would help with my anger issues. They're not super common right now, but it might be worth checking out to see if there is one in your area.

Thanks for the replies!

I am on a boatload of meds at the moment, and this is me "under control".. lol! You should see me if I am on the wrong meds... uhg! I think its a "coping" problem, something I need to actively do something about, since meds just dull it down a bit but not stop it.

I agree with the "bunch of pussies" comment, haha. Its been free psychs, paid psychs, and all different types of therapies who have terminated me for this. I wish I could find an ex-military or boot camp therapist or something like that, who could take it and settle me down. I don't have any relationships outside therapy but I assume it would be the same.

I did ask the last T if she knew of a place where I could just go into some kinda room and let it all out but she says that is "so archaic" and nobody does that anymore. That sucks. I think it could be very beneficial. If I had any money I would build one myself. I cannot trash things around here (home) because people call the cops at the slightest bit of unwanted noise. They are very uppity about that sort of thing.

I wonder if there is any kind of mind game I could play with myself to snap me out of it in the moment.

Hi Sardony

I can definitely relate to the anger problem you described. Last year when I first came in contact with mental health services I was in a state of agitated depression and I was very angry and would constantly lash out both physically and verbally. Physically was just at myself or when no one else was around. At the beginning of my relationship with my social worker I was verbally abusive to her, very much so that thinking about it now makes me feel guilty and ashamed. I don't know why I was angry at her, she had done literally nothing. It was our first meeting. Looking back I almost feel sorry for her. I was in such state for about 3 months and our relationship or lack of was greatly affected. I think what made a huge difference for me was that despite all the $#%^ I threw at her she still stuck with me. At one point I told her I wanted a different care coordinator because there was no way I could work with *her*. And I'm glad this didn't happen. She didn't abandon me and seeing that for myself was a game changer. Now I use this event to challenge my abandonment schema or when I feel like someone I care about is going to leave/abandon me. My anger came from a state of hopelessness and helplessness at my situation and that I was abandoned by those who where supposed to help me (GPs, counsellors, therapists in primary care, etc.)

I'm sorry your experiences with therapists always ended this way. I don't know what advice to give exactly because I still experience a milder form of anger in therapy. But one thing I'd try doing is exploring where the anger comes from and what drives it. Is it feelings of hurt? Hopelessness? Also there is a difference between expression of anger and verbal abuse. Expressing anger in a healthy and constructive way is a good thing but lashing out verbally at people is most definitely not. I'd also add that while letting off steam is good, it's still important to dissect it and try to find out why you are so angry.

If you're considering a new therapist, perhaps discuss with them this issue early on and try to work together to explore it further?

Heya Angelene,

You have described (through your response) exactly why I am angry. Its the helplessness and hopelessness of the whole thing and the unwillingness of anyone (eg health professionals) to help me. It's like they say "yes i will help you" and my hopes go up..... and then I find out down the track that they are doing a half arsed effort and do not really give a toss whether their treatment is working or not. So then my hopes go riiiight down the toilet. I am very sick of this "hope up.... hope down" thing. I wish I had money so I could go therapist shopping and find myself a decent one!!

The one I have right now seemed good at the start but she is off sick at least one week a month and cant even be bothered to return phone calls regarding scheduling. Where do they recruit these people from??? God!

That ticks me off a little. I went through the same thing as a child. One therapist (I was 11 years old) threw me out of her office and told me not to come back. My father and I both agreed that she was completely unqualified.

Therapists are human beings, I understand that, but they should be able to control their tempers. It's understandable if the patient can't, depending on their problem.

I'm sorry you're going through this.