Hi I am new :)

Hi everyone,

I am new here. I am a 23 year old girl from the UK and I have suspected I have BPD for about a year.
I don't really want to go into all my history and why I think I have it (else this will be a very long post lol) because I know that I fit the criteria and I know nobody can tell me if I am BPD other than a qualified professional but I did want to ask what is the best way to go about seeking help?
I get very funny whenever I consider seeking help or talking about it (even making an account on here is a big step for me.) I have been referred to a counsellor twice. The most recent time was this year, just over 6 months ago I took an overdose. I didn't actually talk about anything at the hospital. When they asked me why I took the overdose I said 'I don't know'. I didn't talk much at all. I got the feeling they thought I was just a very silly girl so I didn't want to discuss anything with them. They didn't refer me to a psychiatrist or anything though. Maybe because they felt the overdose I took wasn't serious enough I don't know. However, after taking it, for about a week afterwards I experienced horrific withdrawal symptoms from the drugs I'd taken combined with all the alcohol I'd drunk and I literally thought I was going to die. So I ended up seeing my GP and after assuring me that I wasn't going to die and it was just the effects of the drugs she suggested I see a counsellor again. I never ended up following it through and ignored the counsellors calls when they finally did call me.
I always chicken out, I think part of my problem is that I am afraid of actually getting diagnosed.
But I can not take this hell anymore. It gets to the point where I can not function properly and live a normal life. And I can feel that time approaching again.
What is the best way to help myself? Is a counsellor the way to go? Or should I ask to be referred to a psychiatrist? The thing is, I have never actually been honest and discussed all my issues. I have only ever touched on them with a GP in about a 5 minute appointment. I know that maybe if I saw the counsellor, as they got to know more about me they might make the decision that I need to be referred to a psychiatrist?
I'm sorry that this has been rather doom and gloom.
I do hope that I can get help and also be able to support others on here too

Personally, I would see someone that is trained in diagnosing BPD and that can recommend a specific course of treatment. Fortunately, where I am from, there is a centre that diagnoses BPD specifically. Maybe you have something like that there? If not, maybe your area has an online registry for psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors? Usually they have a website that states what sort of issues they deal with. Another option is to call psychologists or psychiatrists in your area and ask if they are trained in dealing with BPD or specific therapies used to treat BPD, such as DBT, mentalization therapy and schema therapy.

Welcome to the forum as well! Thank you for sharing your experiences here. It can be difficult to open oneself up to sharing such personal information.

Miss Chameleon wrote:What is the best way to help myself? Is a counsellor the way to go? Or should I ask to be referred to a psychiatrist? The thing is, I have never actually been honest and discussed all my issues. I have only ever touched on them with a GP in about a 5 minute appointment. I know that maybe if I saw the counsellor, as they got to know more about me they might make the decision that I need to be referred to a psychiatrist?

I think it depends on what you are looking for. Each person finds whatever works best for them. for some people that is counseling, for others it might be a DBT group, for others it might be some natural remedies, and others it might be medication. It could also be a combination of all of these. I can understand your hesitancy to talk about the things that are bothering you. I find that with time it becomes easier as you gain a relationship with the person you are working with. If you do choose to see a counselor, I find that it also helps to be open and honest about how difficult it is for you to talk about these things. There was a recent thread here about what has helped people the most. Perhaps do a search for that to get some ideas?

Hi Chameleon,

I completely understand what you mean about being afraid of being diagnosed. I admit, when I first went in to be diagnosed, I was shaking like a leaf. Having a complete stranger poking into the darkest recesses of your life? Yeah, that's scary!

You know what, though? It was worthwhile. Once I had that diagnosis, when I check in to other programs, I'm always asked why I thought I had BPD. When I tell them that two psychiatrists jointly diagnosed me with it (one was an intern who had just completed her doctorate), that ends the line of questioning immediately. It suddenly goes from "he might have read it in a book" to "oh, professionals say he has it." It shouldn't make a difference, but it seems to.

It's good that you're worried and are trying to take steps to prevent anything worse from happening. That shows that there's still fight left in you, and that you're going to make an effort to make this work. I know it doesn't feel like it, but I think you've got a really good chance. So find a psychiatrist (we have other UK members here - I can ask them about how to go about that, if you want), and let's get you a proper diagnosis. It'll be a hard first step, but it'll get things going, and once it's over, I think it will make you feel better, just knowing that some progress has been made.

On that note, welcome from the other side of the Pond, in Canada!

Whipped Cream wrote:Personally, I would see someone that is trained in diagnosing BPD and that can recommend a specific course of treatment. Fortunately, where I am from, there is a centre that diagnoses BPD specifically. Maybe you have something like that there? If not, maybe your area has an online registry for psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors? Usually they have a website that states what sort of issues they deal with. Another option is to call psychologists or psychiatrists in your area and ask if they are trained in dealing with BPD or specific therapies used to treat BPD, such as DBT, mentalization therapy and schema therapy.

Thanks, I will do some research as to whether or not there are any kind of centres like that in my area. I never thought about doing it any other way than just speaking to my GP really and asking to get referred. But as you said, speaking to someone who is trained is probably the best way to go. Thank you, I will do some research into that.

-- Sat Nov 09, 2013 12:20 am --

Cheze2 wrote:Welcome to the forum as well! Thank you for sharing your experiences here. It can be difficult to open oneself up to sharing such personal information.

Miss Chameleon wrote:What is the best way to help myself? Is a counsellor the way to go? Or should I ask to be referred to a psychiatrist? The thing is, I have never actually been honest and discussed all my issues. I have only ever touched on them with a GP in about a 5 minute appointment. I know that maybe if I saw the counsellor, as they got to know more about me they might make the decision that I need to be referred to a psychiatrist?

I think it depends on what you are looking for. Each person finds whatever works best for them. for some people that is counseling, for others it might be a DBT group, for others it might be some natural remedies, and others it might be medication. It could also be a combination of all of these. I can understand your hesitancy to talk about the things that are bothering you. I find that with time it becomes easier as you gain a relationship with the person you are working with. If you do choose to see a counselor, I find that it also helps to be open and honest about how difficult it is for you to talk about these things. There was a recent thread here about what has helped people the most. Perhaps do a search for that to get some ideas?

Thanks, I think I'm going to start exploring my options here and see which feels best to me. You are right, I should voice to whoever I speak to that I find it difficult. I will have a search for that thread too.

JohnnyBlaze wrote:Hi Chameleon,

I completely understand what you mean about being afraid of being diagnosed. I admit, when I first went in to be diagnosed, I was shaking like a leaf. Having a complete stranger poking into the darkest recesses of your life? Yeah, that's scary!

You know what, though? It was worthwhile. Once I had that diagnosis, when I check in to other programs, I'm always asked why I thought I had BPD. When I tell them that two psychiatrists jointly diagnosed me with it (one was an intern who had just completed her doctorate), that ends the line of questioning immediately. It suddenly goes from "he might have read it in a book" to "oh, professionals say he has it." It shouldn't make a difference, but it seems to.

It's good that you're worried and are trying to take steps to prevent anything worse from happening. That shows that there's still fight left in you, and that you're going to make an effort to make this work. I know it doesn't feel like it, but I think you've got a really good chance. So find a psychiatrist (we have other UK members here - I can ask them about how to go about that, if you want), and let's get you a proper diagnosis. It'll be a hard first step, but it'll get things going, and once it's over, I think it will make you feel better, just knowing that some progress has been made.

On that note, welcome from the other side of the Pond, in Canada!

Thank you! Yes it is definitely scary! Reading about your experiences is really encouraging, thanks. I think you are right, I just need to be brave and do it. Or at least do something. I need to take the first step. Instead of suffering in silence and continually denying that there is a problem.
It would be great to know what other UK members have done to get their diagnosis
It's great to finally be able to talk to people who understand.