confused! *TW*

Having been discharged by Home Treatment Team today, (even though I have taken an od for the last three weekends and was in hosp for the last one and also Self harm (cutting) and told them im having probs controlling my behaviour atm ) back to my care co-ordinator (med term team) who ive only seen about 5 times in last two mths she tells me that as she is a locum she maybe leaving in a cple of wks. The two members of the medium term team who will be carrying out her role have not done this job before. Great, that fills me with confidence-not!!
Been told I need to be able to see the same person consistently as this will help with my condition. Still waiting for complex needs to start too .only been waiting sinceJune. Seriously?? Anyone else this has happened too?Not sure how to get through this weekend safely.

This summer when I felt I was unsafe, I went to the triage, (hospital emergency) and sat there till I felt okay, then left as wait times were long. I did that 3 nights in a row, until finally one of the doctors had me committed, at which point they released me on one condition, that I take a shot of drugs in the behind. The drugs worked and I've felt safe for months now. I am not a BPD but was feeling unsafe very similar to how you may be feeling.

Thanks for your reply.
They wont admit me . Believe me I have tried. Even after an incident a couple of weeks ago the mental health team came to see me on hosp ward and said that even if they admitted me to the MH centre it wont help because my problems will still be there when I go home.
It just doesnt seem to make much sense to me. It is such a horrible way to be feeling , you feel so lost and not in control, totally unsafe and I get told to ring the team, who tell me to make a cup of tea and do something I enjoy. Seriously? ?
Maybe by doing what u did and sitting in A and E might work. Bet you they still send me home. I suppose because you went there for 3 nights in a row they got the hint to help you. Im glad your feeling safer now , its not a very nice feeling is it.

I get so fed up when I'm a genuine danger to myself and/or others. Yet, I have never been admitted. I have never seen someone long enough to build rapport. I have felt like a waste when it comes to the Mental Health Services. All I can say is you need to keep on their backs to get noticed. I hate it when I'm so bad, I just cannot see an end... I want people to see the pain in my eyes and say "Yes, she needs help". Can you surround yourself with people?

I am lucky to have an amazing best friend who supports me and helps me too. But I feel I am a burden to her sometimes. She has her own health issues and I feel bad if I keep needing her. She is shocked at how bad the mental health support it.it was her who suggested this forum actually, as I was beginning to think it was just me who felt like this.
Its difficult at weekends as she has got her family to be with and so its another weekend on my own.
I get what you mean about not seeing an end .when you feel that awful its just so horrible. I hate myself for feeling like that in the first place then if I do something and its just like a vicious circle. Maybe it would be an idea to keep on at them. Its really frustrating isnt it.

I hope you get the answer you desire. I know how frustrating it is. It's taken 5 - 6 years of being on at Doctor for me to find a psychologist I get on with.

susan78 wrote:Seriously?? Anyone else this has happened too?

As sad as it is, sometimes if crisis teams feel that you are using the hospital too much they won't admit you. I have had this happen in the past. I was screaming and crying in the ER and the crisis worker just came in and said, "There is nothing that I can do for you." I was then discharged a short while later. It is an experience I will never forget.

susan78 wrote:even if they admitted me to the MH centre it wont help because my problems will still be there when I go home.

There is some truth to this statement as hard as it can be to hear. What are you hoping to get out of an inpatient admission?

To be honest I don't know what I would get out of inpatient admission. I just don't feel safe at home on my own at the moment. I'm scared that I will go to far with the self harm or overdosing. I guess I just wanted people who know what's wrong with me and could help me.
Sorry to hear that you had a similar experience too.
I mean I know the crisis team say to ring when you need them but either you can't get hold of anyone or it all seems to happen so quickly that I have self harmed before I've got to the phone.
I don't know , it's all so exhausting.

It is absolutely exhausting, especially as people diagnosed with BPD, we want that outside person to validate our experiences and yet the flow of the mental health system is to have people find their inner strength. It's definitely a difficult balance.

susan78 wrote:I guess I just wanted people who know what's wrong with me and could help me.

Is there someone else you could look to for support in this area? A friend or family member? I know you said your therapist is leaving, so that makes it difficult to reach out to them unfortunately. Hopefully your next therapist will stay longer.

I was finally admitted to mental health unit 3 weeks ago.