Can I Disappear Please?

Pretty please?

I'm just done, it's not even 11am yet and I'm done.

I feel so ridiculously empty. Being awake is painful.

Josh wants to help, but I don't know how to explain to him what empty feels like. I don't know how to explain I can't just snap out of it.

On top of this Boo is in a mood and is getting upset at the drop of a hat.

I feel the same way.

I'm making myself disappear with drugs. Magic pills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I don't recommend you doing that. I'd recommend you take a nap, then do something nice for yourself like eat your favorite food, and see how you feel after that. If you have work or something call them and tell them you are going to come in late because of a temporary family emergency and you will be a few hours late. Also, chocolate.

I work 24/7 365 as a stay at home mom and Boo is quite the tyrant.

Dear god how I would love to have my magic pills back. Just 3.5 more months and I can have them.

I'm thinking I need sweet tea and a chicken snack wrap and maybe some grocery shopping to fill the urge to shop.

Josh just asked why I feel empty....Anyone got an explanation I can give on why we borderlines feel empty?

Psychologists usually say it's because something happened or didn't happen early in development that kept us from developing a stable sense of self and a predictable reality. I don't know if that's true or not. For me it probably is. With so many siblings and very little recognition of ME as my own PERSON, and cruelly isolated from having any outside contact until age 17, it makes sense that I would always feel empty.

I didn't have any siblings, but to my mom I didn't really exist until I did something she absolutely had to pay attention to. I spent 90% of my time at home in my room playing alone.

I've never really looked into the explanation as to why we feel empty. I figured there was no answer due to our inability to explain why we feel the way we do.

Josh did go get me food and sweet tea though

It doesn't feel the emptiness, but it's quite yummy.

Even though now I'll feel guilty for eating.

Stupid cycles.