DBT seems like a joke to me-VERY Discouraged

Ugh. Im about to start DBT and I am researching it a bit before I start. I honestly think it sounds silly, with all the acronyms and stuff. Very high school. My point is this-I could learn that $#%^ all day and night-whether I PRACTICE it or not is a different story. I know I should listen to Ravi Shankar and not Marilyn Manson when I'm in a horrible mood. Does that stop me? NO! I know I should breath deeply when I am freaked out and not reach for a razor blade. But I will reach for the blade every time! How do you STOP these patterns of behavior that are so ingrained into you?!! I cant force my self to do something happy when I am in a hole! Its like someone telling you to smile when you have a scowl on your face! It just pisses me off more! I am feeling VERY discouraged about this right now. I am smart enough to know what I SHOULD do. That doesn't mean Im going to do it!!! I feel like it is not going to work for me and that nothing with help me and I am NEVER going to get better. PLease I need to hear others experiences with DBT. Do you like it? Dislike it? Is it working? Not? HELP!

Not had DBT, I would like it though - I want to get better one day.
Erm noticed the self harming bit, my GP advised to hold and ice cube in your hand, concentrate on that being irritating and hurting your hand... At least you won't harm yourself.
Just thought I'd pipe in with that, try to take a positive approach to the DBT it will help you in the long run! Sorry it's useless in terms of the topic, but good luck

If the acronyms are bothering you, try not to concentrate on that aspect. They're just there to help you learn the broader concept. Sure, there are going to be times where you're angry and you want to listen to marilyn manson, DBT doesn't say that is wrong. DBT says that at any given moment you're doing the best that you know how. There's no judging. Sure, opposite to emotion is one skill that you could try, but it doesn't mean that that's the one that will work. It's about using a succession of skills until the crisis passes. Hang in there. Anytime you're feeling frustrated with it, just post here, and you'll find all sorts of support from people who have gone through it, and those who haven't yet.

Try to think of it in terms of broader concepts vs individual skills.

Never went through DBT, but had a bad habit of dissociating when stressed - led to all kinds of problems - losing things, anxiety attacks, insomnia, forgetting, spacing out at work, getting lost/disoriented which is very dangerous in the city... Had no idea how to get a hold of this, and my therapist was worried about this symptom more than the others.

It took a good year and a half of making myself very conscious and mindful - doing lots of things I though were absolute crap - like writing affirmations "I can handle stress well" and all other kinds of BS. It actually helped - not right away, but eventually. I also spent lots of time talking with my shrink about what kinds of feelings I had in stressful situations besides fear and anger. Working through those extra feelings (sadness, disappointment, etc.) and the thoughts behind them helped slow down that automatic "I'm outa here' dissociation and pretty much stop it. I'm still not great at sharing my feelings with people and I still space out kinda at times, but nothing like before. Now, in most stressful situations I think "OK, slow down, see what's happening". Couldn't do that before because I felt unsafe within myself and unsafe in the situation. Now, feeling safer, though not really comfortable, I can hold on to myself, and rarely have the feeling of 'waking up' suddenly when things calm down. This happens every couple of years, instead of every couple of days. Totally worth it.

Think this is called 'observe and describe' in DBT. Whatever it's called, it took time and effort, but made a lot of difference.

[quote="missehffs"]Erm noticed the self harming bit, my GP advised to hold and ice cube in your hand, concentrate on that being irritating and hurting your hand... At least you won't harm yourself.
[/cquote]

Oh if I only that would work for me. Problem is I cut for blood not pain. I will try it though.

hi there!

dbt has been heaven sent for some of the members on here...i found a ton of past posts that you might want to take a look at to see if someone might have an interesting perspective. i'm not a fan of the acronyms either, so i completely understand!!! i'm looking into schema therapy myself.

https://www.google.com/search?q=dbt+bpd ... ewwindow=1

Shawniecat12345 wrote: My point is this-I could learn that $#%^ all day and night-whether I PRACTICE it or not is a different story.

This should be the the focal point of your post. If you're not going to practice it then save your money!!

The acronyms, I suppose, are a bit sill, but there's also a lot of stuff to remember so it helps in that sense.

I think you are way over thinking this a bit. DBT is NOT when miserable, do this, and it will put a smile on your face. It's more do this so you don't do something destructive, basically cope with painting a picture rather than banging your head into wall.

Also, DBT does not make a lot of sense, to a lot of people for the first couple months, and then it begins to click. That's why a year is recommend because the second round of dbt is much more effective then the first.

PLease I need to hear others experiences with DBT. Do you like it? Dislike it? Is it working? Not? HELP

If you go through the course and only pick up one or two things that work for you, aren't you better off? It's one or two less things you have to worry about which means more attention can be devoted to other areas of your llife.

I think skills like coping ahead, understanding emotions, and some distracting skills have been beneficial and probably doable for most. It has not cured me and it really hasn't changed my view of myself.

I think exposure therapy with an ocd patient is a good analogy. With DBT the internal stress is going to be through the roof the first time, but it won't be the 20th time.

It often appeared to me that part of the basis of dbt was forget everything that happened to you in the past, those are the cards you were dealt, just do these skills. I don't agree with that mindset, but everyone is different.

It all goes back to what I wrote above and what you need to decide are you going to put in the effort to do the skills?

-cbox

I was skeptical about DBT at first. It sounded like nonsense to me. But I went ahead and did a short term DBT group anyway meeting twice a week for 90 minutes for 6 weeks. We watched videos of which some are online free as they are DBT self help videos and some videos which were very intense kinda like a prescription video. Then we would all take turn talking and processing.

I learned that I was able to weather the storm of strong emotions without needing to react either physically or verbally. Each time I had a strong gush of emotion be it anger, fear, guilt and did the grounding exercises and mindfulness practices and then found out I did not have to react in any way, simply let it pass I got more control of my body and my mouth.

It isn't a cure all but it was very helpful to me in the area of impulse control.

There are a couple DBT self help vidoes online which are almost identical to the 'fancy' professional ones the only diffrence being less intense and without triggers.

Be a rock! Be a tree! These are two great DBT self help videos which have no triggers and are online free.

As with any skill, be it learning how to ride a bike, drive a car, same with DBT as I had to put some effort into it and while it wasn't difficult it also wasn't easy.

My best to you.

Hi guys! thanks the input. I reread my original post and realized I was doing some black and white thinking. I gotta at least try something before I dismiss it and say its never going to work for me. Also, Ive always been into Buddhism and mediation. So that part of it I think I might really get into. Thanks for all of your kind counsel. As always it help to hear others perspectives. Please keep your DBT experiences coming.!

There are also other teachers out there that focus on BPD with a greater emphasis on Zen than does DBT.

BPD people are waking up to this, no pun intended.

hang in there