Meds don't work, family( mom) fed up.and I'm tired.

littlearcher wrote:hi rikku,
i am sorry that you feel alone and misunderstood by your mom. is it possible that she doesn't have much knowledge about bpd?

i don't have any experience with meds, so i will let someone else comment on that, but it sounds like you could use some extra support.

are you currently speaking to a therapist or anything like that? i know that finding the right people to speak to and work with has been incredibly helpful for me and made me feel less alone (as has posting here).

sending you hugs <3

littlearcher wrote:hey rikku...nice to talk to you again (although i am sad that it is because you aren't doing well).

first of all, don't feel ashamed for calling the helpline crying. i have done the same thing! that's what they are there for and it shows strength and insight on your part that you are reaching out for support rather than doing something harmful. i know that it can be hard to make yourself vulnerable to a stranger like that but, remember that the people who answer generally are volunteers. they genuinely want to help you.

with regards to your mother, guilt is a tricky thing. i know that my parents often end up hurting me a lot out of their guilty feelings. i know it's hard to distance yourself from it, because she is your mother, but i think that a lot of the way she treats you has to do with her own issues and troubles and isn't about who you are as a person.

you deserve love, care, respect and validation. however, your mom might not be equipped to give you those things from what you've described.

it is great that your mom is now cancer free. but, important that you know that you didn't cause her illness.

don't make rash decisions about moving away based on those kinds of feelings...if you do make a decision, make it on what's best for you. is being around your family healthy for you? do they provide love and support? are they understanding?

i know for me, my mom and brother and extremely difficult for me to deal with and they don't really understand me at all. my dad tries really hard to understand me, so i have a little contact with him. my aunts really support me and help me so i speak to them and see them the most and we have built a really great relationship.

make the decisions based on what is best for you and which relationships are healthiest for you <3

littlearcher wrote:i am very sure i'm not a therapist...hahaha.

just someone who's been sad a lot, so i can relate.

well, i think this is a big decision and if there isn't any rush...it might be good to take your time with it and take everything into consideration.

everything has it's positives and negatives.

i left home when i was 15 and moved in with my aunt and uncle for two years and then i've been on my own since i was 17. it was good for me to get away from my mom...but, it can be lonely at times too living on my own.

i trust that you know what is best and healthiest for you and that you'll be able to come to the right decision if you give yourself the time <3

and as for your family...don't we all make each other's lives harder a little bit? i know that's the case with my family! caring about people can be hard, especially when they are going through rough times. think of it this way...if it were reversed, like in the case of your mom when she was battling cancer, did you think that she was making your life harder?

my guess would be no.

if your family members are sending you that message, i know it's really really hard to see, but it has more to do with their own distorted thinking and not accepting responsibility for their own guilt and feelings than it has to do with you.

many hugs to you <3