forgetfulness

Does a person with BPD forget the hurtfull things they've said? My woman that told me she no longer loved me and wanted me to leave now tells me she doesn't remember saying it... she thinks I just got up and left...is this part of BPD?

It is interesting that you ask this now, because I am a recovering bpd and had an episode last weekend. During this one, I can't recall hardly anything, as if it were one long day (it lasted for four)only slight bits and pieces.

I did some online study today and found that one of the sx's is amnesia. Mine is associated with ptsd from childhood and broadened to bpd. So I am now working on determining whether this amnesia they speak of is considered post trauma, or during episodes.

To answer your question from my personal experience, yes, I don't remember anything said tome for 4 days, my husband is helping me recall the events and conversations. I also had several outbursts and broke objects that I don't remember.

this is exactly why I isolate myself. (one of a few)

I say things that I don't remember all the time. (I don't remember a lot of life.) I have PTSD along with the BPD so maybe thats why. Can't say that I forget saying hurtful things, but I'm not in a relationship. If I was in one, thats when things would get stirred up.

I cannot thank you enough for replying...

It all makes sense now. She thinks I just got up and left. But how do I handle this in the future? If she tells me she doesn't love me and asks me to leave and then forgets a few days later... what do I say?

Maybe have her read all this? Seeing the other posts, would she understand?
I don't know, otherwise. When she says it she's probably too upset to write it down....

There is very definite cognitive impairment. I keep all my emails. I log all my online chats. If I have a discussion with someone on the phone or in person, we both follow up with email recapping the discussion.

Not only does this help me track stuff, but it also makes sure I'm hearing what they're actually saying and not filtering it through my own problems and changing the meaning around.

My sister and I both have this problem, and until we started doing this we had lots of misunderstandings....either one or both of us would forget the conversation, or we'd remember it totally differently.

As an aside, I've started using 'parroting' to make sure what I'm hearing is what they're saying.

BB,
jess