BPD and housemates

Hi,
I have BPD,OCD,PTSD and an eating disorder. I also hear voices in the form of command hallucinations and I severely self harm regularly. Is this something you have to disclose to housemates in a shared house?

i dont mean legally i mean is it best.

Lawfully, you do not need to tell them. Ethically and morally, I don't believe you need to tell them, for example, in an interview process when they're trying to fill a roommate slot. I believe in this case about fulfilling the spirit of the law that you have the right to privacy and should not be discriminated against based on your medical history.

But you should try to find out if they can tolerate you and if you can tolerate them. This is just plain old compatibility finding. If you cannot tolerate them or vise versa, then you are going to get worse. Do not accept a room just because they will accept you, because accepting roommates with poor compatibility will cause you significant long-term harm until you move out, and possibly cause long term psychological harm. So, take this seriously.

You need to interview them. Ask them to describe the personalities and household behaviors of the current residents. Ask them what types of personalities and household behaviors have worked well for them in the past. Ask them what types and behaviors have worked poorly and terribly for them in the past. This should start to give you a picture of the range of personality types that would be compatible with these people. Do you fit into this range? Be completely honest with yourself. If you do, try to go for the room. If not, walk away.

Once you start living with them, here are tips to follow to minimize conflict. Even if someone else regularly breaks one of these tips, another roommate could still get really irritated at you but not them. I have no idea why this happens. If you figure it out, please let me know.

• Do not leave possessions in the common areas
• Always leave an area the same way it was when you arrived
• Clean whatever dishes you use (even if there is a pile in the sink)
  
  • Bonus: Regularly clean the dishes. It's like +50 karma points
    
• Do not do projects in the common areas
• Do not spend the majority of your time in one spot in a common area
• Keep bathroom items to absolute minimum
  
  • Bonus: Hide a carrying bag to the bathroom for the extras. Hide it because if you are the only one you could be labeled "weird" or "having a superiority complex" (WTF? I have no idea why people think the way they do)
    
• Keep refrigerator items to a minimum
  
  • Warning: Premade food intended to last you several days may be thrown out because it is "old" and you will never be able to get the person to stop
    
• Always give your roommates validation for everything
  
  • Avoid debates, or if required always lose the debate
    
  • Never say or imply something negative, even if in your opinion the negative is positive
    

That may have not been needed, but I figured, why not. I'm awfully talkative.

I like your tips aetienne. Other things are:
-don't be too noisy-if you have people over regularly, keep the noise down because there will be other housemates who want to sleep or who aren't into partying etc and they'll get pissed off.
-If you have people over for drinks, make sure you clean up the bottles etc afterwards.
-Do not leave dirty clothes in the laundry basket beside the washing machine in the utility room-if you're washing your clothes, do it then and there. Take them out of the washing machine asap and hang up on a clothes horse or tumble drier.
-Turn off switches after using electrical appliances-this reduces the electricity bill a bit. Also don't have the heating on for too long- a few hours in the morning and evening maximum. If you're cold at any other time, then just wear a fleece/hoody.
-Pay your rent on time
-Don't lose your keys ever-I had a roommate do that once before and I nearly was ready to scream because I couldn't believe anyone was so irresponsible.
-don't bitch about other people-if there is conflict amongst your housemates, do not get involved.
-Another good reason not to keep expensive toiletries in the bathroom is that your other housemates will use them-I had a housemate who had Keratase and Clinique products in the bathroom so I'd always end up using them. You can keep basic beauty products in the bathroom because people are way less likely to use them unless they run of their own shampoo etc which isn't too bad.

Oh another thing-if you're a smoker, don't leave cigarette butts in ashtrays. Put them in the bin!!! I hate even looking at that-I'm a non smoker. I think smokers are better off smoking outside of the house when you're house sharing unless you have really relaxed housemates as I hate being forced to inhale passive smoke.