Not sure what to do (TW)

Usually I'm pretty good at judging how long I can maintain, and I can tell that I'm getting worse.

I've cut myself three separate occasions in the last month. When I did it last night I think I hit a nerve; my arm still has that feeling that it's half-asleep. I keep feeling suicidal; last night I had someone to talk to me and keep me calm for the rest of the night. Tonight I can't do that and I'm panicking. Whether I would do anything to kill myself I'm not sure; let me say that I was tempted and home alone, but it didn't happen.

Anyways, I have a doctor's appointment in a little over a week and I don't know whether or not to call and ask to see him earlier. On one hand I don't want to have to go through the trouble of trying to get into his office early when I don't have that far to go; on the other hand I can see myself slipping and I don't know what difference that little bit of time could make.


What do I DO?

I think it may be a good idea to go and see him, if you are feeling like this now why not put it forward a bit. He may have some good suggestions and can look at your arm if you feel like showing him. It cant do any harm booking in a tad earlier. Thats what they are there for anyways....

You dont want to 'slip' and it be too late.

Good luck

I agree with Swiftier; if you're that concerned, get the appointment bumped up. At best, it would allay your fears. At worst, you did do some damage and you'll have done the best thing by getting in sooner rather than later. Either way, I think it'd be the best way to go.

I think Monday when I start going to group therapy I'll talk to the receptionist and see what I can do.

littlearcher: The person I wanted to talk to was busy and most of the only other people I feel secure sharing my stuff with were asleep. I've always been waaaay too nervous to call the hotline thing.

Mavet wrote:'ve always been waaaay too nervous to call the hotline thing.

I've always been nervous about calling hotlines as well. Though more recently, I have gotten myself to call up the local crisis number in my area couple of times. Perhaps you could look into a peer warm line? Those might be a little less intimidating. Peer warm lines are basically just a place you can call to talk to people who have also experienced mental illness/extreme emotional distress. They're able to relate a little more to what you're going through. I know that some people find them more helpful than the actual crisis line.

Also, It may help if you knew what happens when you call one. I'll give you my experience, because I'm sure everyone is different. In my experience, they typically they ask you to describe what's going on, then they help you make a plan of how to get through this immediate crisis.