under control

okay I'm 18 been diagosed as BPD and it has caused me tons of problems in the past. the narcissism doesn't help either. anyway i'm going on to college in the fall and i need ideas how to keep my BPD under control. I am on medicine lexapro and abilify but some of the symptoms are still prevelant. for instance my black and white thinking, having a strong opinion of my self, fearing abndonment to the point i become clingy and push others a way and wonder what had happened. i don't want that to go on anymore. i want college to be a fresh start for me and leave my past and BPD behind, i want to close the book on that. so how do i do that? advice would be appreciated.

thanks 44

Well Good for you that you are taking the first steps! That is more than many people with bpd can say! I am not bpd but I have a diagnosed family member who will not even admit it. So I believe it sounds to me like you are already on the right track.
If I were in you shoes I would continue to stay on sites like these where you can get emotional support from people who really care. I would continue to take my meds and see the professinals that I needed to see. And try to find an out that you can do on your own so you can feel satisfied with yourself (like exercise, singing, art) just anything you can do to get you going and feeling good about who you are:) Lastly when you are making freinds at school I would make sure sure that they were true friends that could try to listen to my emotions and that I could listen to as well. It is great to have lots of friends but even better to have 1 or 2 true friends who care.
Now of coure you don't have to do what anybody says because you are the only one who can really help yourself but it is sometimes nice to get lots of ideas to pick from! So I just want to wish you Good Luck! And Have Fun!

I'm glad you asked. Any big life change like going to college is more difficult for a person with BPD, I think. It certainly was for me, and in retrospect, I wish I'd known the following:

If I were you, I would try to establish a routine as quickly as possible, and stick to it. Try not to overstimulate yourself, or get over-involved with people too quickly. I know we can make friends really fast, but that can tip over into over-involvement that wrecks our ability to focus and stay calm. Think: Quietly, quietly. I know the temptation is to surround yourself with all these wonderful new people, but don't overindulge.

Remember to look after the basics: Food, finances, exercise, cleaning. Make sure your meals are looked after, you're not overspending, that you're getting regular exercise, and that you're looking after your room/laundry/self.

Another good thing is to find a creative outlet, like painting, or writing, or singing/music. Exercise can be a real lifeline; I like running, and other people I know enjoy weight-lifting, swimming, or similar.

Don't get overconfident. You might find yourself feeling great around week three...maybe just a little nervous, for some reason...Just remember not to take for granted your need for structure, continuity and routine. These things are absolutely essential to you. Turn all the pressure of the BPD symptoms into creativity and functionality. Yes, we have an illness, but it's not something that has to necessarily get ahead of us. When you look at it, we are just more driven than ordinary people to have a good life, to be organized, to be creative, to look after our health, get exercise and stay focused. We have incentive -- the incentive of not wanting to suffer!

If possible, it would be very helpful if you maintained some kind of therapeutic relationship where you could phone your therapist or someone similar to discuss things. This can be very helpful for someone with BPD; just having someone to touch base with, someone who gets you out of the immediacy of the situation so you can get some perspective on your new life. (Actually, this forum might be helpful for you over the next while. We'll certainly look forward to hearing from you).

Take care. I hope everything goes well for you.

Thanks for both replies guys.

I am an avid exerciser and I do lift weights so that helps a lot with stress and BPD. I'm still quite nervous for next year but hopefully everything will turn out well. I am on meds for my BPD well actually for depression and mood, which both deal with BPD but the meds don't help 100%. Hopefully I will get things under control by the fall. Thanks again for the replies, AND I will keep you'll updated.

Well, to a certain extent, insofar as we're able, I've found we sort of have to "go as we are." Life doesn't normally wait for everyone to get themselves together. For some people, life is a delicate, graceful ballet. For others, it's a hockey game, and you just keep getting slammed into the boards. That's why I hope you can get into a rhythm of looking after yourself and going to school, balancing both. Try to stay in touch with your feelings; as you go through the day, pause from time to time just to find your "inner voice," your "youness" -- could I sound any more New Age?? -- but you know what I mean, I hope. Deep, calming breath.