Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

I don't want to hear "law of attraction," or "it's all in your head" - neither of those two explanations are satisfactory.

Why is it that when I'm extremely depressed and fear that a "loved one" is about to abandon me that I don't hear from them for WEEKS? The abandonment manifests itself. This has happened COUNTLESS times.

When I'm super elated and everything is going well in my life, I hear from them almost on a daily basis. Whatever is relevant in my life in that moment - I don't even have to open my mouth and say it because they seem to pick up on it instantly. What the heck?

When I'm feeling sucky about myself, the "loved ones" in my life suck too. I see them through a different light because they STEP into a different light. They literally become different people - not the ones I love.

My mind is not playing games on me. When I'm feeling great about myself and the world, they are AMAZING and I can have the most rewarding interactions with them, but when I'm down, they feel so bland, uncaring, distant and I just despise them. I'm telling you - if I had a third party that could observe from a distance, they'd tell you the very same thing. It's NOT my mind. It's REALITY.

All this is making me question whether these PEOPLE, just like the THOUGHTS I have of them, in fact, don't INHERENTLY exist at all?

Sounds like BPD splitting, google it up. Basically you go from Idealation to devaluation because of a fear of abandonment from them not contacting you.

http://showard76.wordpress.com/2011/12/ ... -disorder/

I think that gives a low down on it.

-- Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:15 am --

Sounds like BPD splitting, google it up. Basically you go from Idealation to devaluation because of a fear of abandonment from them not contacting you.

http://showard76.wordpress.com/2011/12/ ... -disorder/

I think that gives a low down on it.

I have no idea how to answer the question but I think I understand where you are coming from. I feel it a lot with my family, when I am in a good mood I seemed to have everyone around me and in a good mood too however if I down and depressed, worried that my family will abandon me they do, its like they are only they for me with the good times but the minute things get more difficult they don't wanna know, in fact it's not just my family it's everyone around me they become distant they don't bother with me and don't care. They have infact abandoned me on several times, My dad did when I was little, then I got back in contact with him, at 19 my mum sent me of to another country to live with my dad but after 4 months he couldnt handle me so gave my £200 and sent me back to the UK to my mum although she still didnt wanna know so I was out on the streets. Now that I have started to get my life back together its like my mum and the rest of the family are slowly beginning to take interest apart from my dad, he still doesnt want anything to do with me
My opinion is, a lot of people can't handle it simple as. They can handle the good times but the minute anything bad starts to happen and the mood changes they run because they don't want to deal with it, which ofcourse makes things much worse and in my case anyway leads me to hate them more. When I am in a good mood I tend to forget about all the times they have abandoned me and just accept that apparently it's all my fault. In a bad mood everything is remembered and I hate them all so much. But what kind of life is better? Knowing that you are right, that they are only their for the good times and abandoning them so you have noone and feel empty, or just accept things for the way that they are so that they stay and you still have people there. That's what I have learnt most the past year, people wont change just accept them for who they are or move on. At least you know the truth. I hope I made some kind of sense lol

I guess it is difficult for people to understand an illness they have never experienced and I think it is often too painful for family members to accept and deal with a family member having some form of mental illness. I have heard of this happening a lot and have personal experience with it.I have learnt to accept that and deal with my bpd issues through DBT and DBT counselling.If you haven't tried DBT , I highly recommend it.My life and perspectives ha've improved massively since I started ...Anyway,.I am wondering what it is that makes you recognise when someone is going to leave? That question might help find answers.