Being plain-looking disturbs my life.Can anyone else relate?

Hi everyone!

I have been writing on this forum before. I'm a girl 23 years old and I've been diagnosed with Bdd as I was totally preocuppied with my hair for almost a year. Now my hair looks better which I'm obviously glad for. Last summer was horrible. My family was tired of me, no one wanted to understand, I didn't want anyone to see me, I even felt embarresed of my looks infront of my own family. And lastly, I was walking around in a hoodie when it was 30 degreees outside... Thankfully this summer has been better. I'm going on antidepressants and I've had days when I have been enjoying life more than ever before.

However - Before my hair obsession and right now it feels like I've always been really disturbed by the thought of being just average looking. I mean being average looking is not pretty and I have been convinced by the thought that I'm not pretty enough for any boy to find me attractive. I've read that women are very good at rating themselves on the 1-10 scale and I'm 100 % sure I won't be placed among the beautiful and drop dead gorgeous girls. My mom gets irritated of me and asks me how I can be so sure that I'm not attractive, she thinks I shouldn't trust my own opinion of my own physical appearence, but seriously, why shouldn't I? As I said, women are good at rating themselves and I mean, seriously, my own opinon of my appearence can't differ so much from others. Lastly I can't say I have got alot of male attention in my life...

I don't think I'm ugly, which I'm obviously thankful for, but seriosuly no one wants to be average looking either. No one would like to look like me as when I see videos and pictures of myself, I just can't see anything that would make me atleast a little cute or pretty. I just have an average face, two dark brown eyes (most boring eye colour according to myself) a straight nose, thin lips, round face. I'm average looking and not pretty and I get frustrated because of this as I wonder how any guy would ever would like to love me (I mean, I'm just a plain face!!) or attracted enough to do "things" with me if you know what I mean....

I recently signed up on tinder and I've got some matches. I got some compliments when I uploaded a photo of my face but seriosuly, I put alot of time and effort just to upload this particular photo and it makes me look extra nice. Sure, it's me on the photo and I got really happy when I got some compliments, but honestly I don't take these compliments too seriously as I don't look this good in real life... Tinder have been fun but it somehow feels fake too. Partly as it feels like I'm fooling people to think I'm more beautiful than I really am. And I'm sure they will get kind of dissapointed if we ever meet on a date some day..

Can someone relate to this feeling of just hating that you look average and not even slightest cute or beautiful? I'm fully convinced that my life just had been easier and that I would have loved myself more if I was just prettier like so many other girls...

Yes this used to bother me when I was pretty but just not pretty enough. My sister was always prettier than me even at my prettiest and it used to bother me so much. It's just that feeling of not being good enough.
I have an unhealthy obsession with being beautiful but I dont really know how to stop that. Just be glad you aren't ugly because life gets much worse in that case in my experience it did anyway. If you are young you might get prettier. I got prettier in my 20s then in my mid to late 20s I got even prettier. A plastic surgery made me ugly in my 30s and now I'm 40 and I look so bad. I miss being pretty so much because my life was so much better. What I cant figure out is how to enjoy life looking the way i do now. There has to be a way somehow

I've been called average too and I always hated it. I think that most people are average though and they dont get told they're average so I dont know what is the point of telling me that. People must have picked up on my subconscious insecurity about it and decided to use it to make me feel bad. Could it be possible that you are pretty but you see yourself as average ? Have people told you that you are pretty and beautiful?