I think I’m ugly...

I’ve been called ugly so many times in my life. Not all of those times have been direct. As a dark skinned woman, I’ve been second pick to lighter skinned women, with “better bodies and hair”. People stare at me like I’m a monster everywhere I go. Of course, my husband and my family tell me that I’m beautiful but they’re kind of obligated to, especially if I’m asking for validation. It’s been difficult to go grocery shopping, ho to the mall, or even go out with friends. I can’t even hold a regular conversation because my mind is so occupied by how the person is looking at me and what they think about my appearance. I’ve developed a social anxiety because of this. *sigh* When will this get better? How can I fix this?

Hi,
This sounds a lot like my situation. People in public recoil at my appearance, turn away quickly when they see me or they look at the floor while passing me. But my family and friends think it's all in my head because they say I'm beautiful. Of course this is fam and friends so I feel like they're biased. And I understand about people insinuating I'm ugly rather than being direct, this happens to me a lot. I kind of look for it too like I'm so sensitive to nonverbal behavior towards me I think this is where I need the most help.
Many guys out there will prefer dark skin girls over lighter skin girls and you will find them .
I struggle with my bdd so I dont know how much help I can be. Wish you the best