The cold harsh truth......

Hello all new member here , i hope u all are doing well.....
Im an 18 yr old boy , most of my life i couldnt look directly in the mirror , but i have improved alot . But the depressing thing is , its not me who thinks im ugly ... its the other people :/ Let me explain :\nThere had been numerous rejections in my life by girls , and before u give me that "looks dont matter , u get rejected due to personality" , i have proof that i have been turned down everytime because of my looks ...\n1) there was a girl who showed interest in me by talking to me online and thought i was a fun person , when she saw me :/ ... she immediately cut off al the contact and this hasnt happened to me once , many times a girl would see my initial photo and show some interest but as soon as she knows what i actually look like in other ones , they are repelled and disgusted .... \n2) there was an incident online where a girl literally told me that "ur face makes me wanna puke" .... I was like "wtf??" and she blocked me ... while these are the girls who show interest in other guys and it really breaks my heart like im from some alien species who isnt allowed to be accepted and loved like everyone else ..... \nI swear to God , There isnt a single time in my life where a girl showed interest in me .... only 2-3 instances where the female was twice as old as me ...... And before u say "relationships dont matter bro" they do when all u have seen in life is disappointment and rejection solely due to looks\nThese instances have made me cry and be sleepless for nights , ruminating about the curse that is visible on my face which everyone suddenly recognizes .... Im happy with other aspects of my life but this single aspect is enough to suck happiness from others too ....\nNow i have reached a point where when im going to show people myself or know they are gonna see me , it makes my heartbeat faster .... my mind going crazy.... Because i know they will immediately be disgusted .... \nAnd the most scary thing is ...... i dont even think ik that bad looking . I have low body fat , had acne but now it is clear , and i style and dress to make myself as good as i can be .... But its other people who constantly make me realize like im the most hideous person that they dont even wanna talk ..... Its really depressing and above all of that ... I have a brother who is 10/10 .... :/ Why did God did this to me???.....