Should I become a nun?

desparatehelpneeded wrote:Wow? poking fun of me?

No sweety, many people in the western world and europe consider it suppression of the woman to be wearing burqa. Its highly debatable and I dont want to get into that discussion. Parts of the world are just so different at the moment, and its hard to make a joke, because there will always be somebody to get offended. So trust me, this wasnt a poke to you, more a poke to how different we are this world, mentality wise. As I said, I do not want to express an opinion about religion or feminism here because the thread can get really out of hand.

omg omg omg how many times i've thought about becoming a nun!

yYyYy wrote:omg omg omg how many times i've thought about becoming a nun!

Havent we all? And I'm an atheist. Could you imagine then my frustration to what extent I'd go to escape!! hahahaha

Wake up, pray (for a cookie?), eat my cookie, pray (for another one), eat it, pray to get another one tomorrow, go to sleep.

Ah the life......

I can relate but there is a way im different than u all girls , This might come off a bit sexist , but im letting out my feelings , ...
All you talking about being completely alone , going off from humanity , just living your life alone , and then you discuss about your boyfriends .... that means you have been showed love , acceptance by humanity , which i swear on my grandfathers grave , not a single girl has showed me in my 20 years . no joke literally , Thats the harder problem for being an ugly short (5'7") male (especially because there is soo much competition by fellow males) which maybe many girls wont understand what it is like to be completely unloved just because of your appearance (yes i know the root is my appearance) , that makes my bdd soo soo much worse than all of you , in addition to all other beliefs i also hold this belief that im a subhuman which repulse girls away , So my only option is to live alone as monk , completely away , numbing all my emotions by meditation (which i know is impossible) or becoming completely asexual by chemical castration ,( i dont know about its side effects tho lol)

Hi dear!

I read your post. I have bdd, have been on kbt-therapy sessions and currently eating antidepressants.

You are not alone when it comes to these thoughts. I've had exactly the same.

I've thought other girls are prettier than me and I've thought no one would find me attractive enough to want me to be thair girlfriend. I've also got rejected by the few guys I found interesting which obviously hasn't felt good at all. After showing I'm interested they usually start ignoring me which has almost made me give up when it comes to mutual love. It just feels so damn hard to find someone who also finds me attractive. What's frustrating is that I look completely fine, but just like the guys seems picky when it comes to girls, so am I. I used to feel sad and wondered what's wrong with me, why they don't like me. When I ask my family they can't answer, simply because the answer is that there is nothing wrong with me. These guys might think we are not compatible enough to make a relationship or they might prefer girls that look different than me, like blonde girls or red haired. Thing is that what's considered attractive and what's not is so damn subjective and everyone has different preferences and find different things attractive.

So when we are rejected it doesn't mean we are not attractive or good enough for love, it means that we just haven't found the one that's right for us, the one who we are compatible with and matches us best. Most important is that we have to keep searching for the ones that are right for us. I don't think you should throw in your towel and become a nun. Everyone can find someone and so can you.
I must say i like your second option "Stop giving a ###$ what people think: Ignore appearance-related things, focus on what's truly important".

As I'm truly sick of caring of my apperarence as I've just done it too much myself ( I could serously stand infront of the mirror for hours each day) I have decided that now that I think I look better in my new short hairstyle, I don't want to care as much as I used to do.

During 2018 My bdd took my life and my joy the last year. I can rarely remember any moment that I did enjoy life as I was so bothered with my haircut. I was so depressed because of my ugly hairstyle that I wanted to take my life, but thankfully I feel better now, and not just better, alot better! I got scarred from the experience of caring to much about my looks that I want to catch up on all those enjoyable things I missed last year.

I know it's hard to not care about appearence. I still care because looking good makes me feel happy, but seriosuly, looking good doesn't have to make you feel happy in the long run. I remember an evening when I cried infront of the mirror. My hair suddenly looked super good which I previously thought would be the only thing that could make me happy, but I realized it still was not enough to make me completely happy and satisfied with my life.There was something else that bothered me, I felt that I couldn't handle my studies and I still don't have many friends after I moved to my home city.

Believe me when I say this because I say this due to my own experience:

Looking good doesn't have to make you feel completely happy. There are so many other factors that need to be fulfilled, like having a job, good relationships with your family, social contacts and hobbies that you enjoy.

I know from my own experience that only caring for your appearence will totally consume you. And usually you never feel 100 % good looking enough in your own eyes bcause we are critical to ourselved and very good at seeing details in our appearence.

But seriosuly, don't let bdd take your life away from you like it did from me the last year, I lost a year in my life that I will never get back. We only live once and as we usually judge ourselfes way too hard, maybe it's best to lose some grip of the mirror and live life instead. I promises you that there are alot more other things in life that will mae you feel alot more satisfied with your life than being satisfied with looking good. And remember attractiveness I soo subjective. At the bdd-therapy session there was one girl that I thought was absolutely beautiful. She had brown curly hair and blue eyes and she was so friendly. I thought "wow I wish I looked like her". But guess what, she told us at the meeting that she could not look at herself in the mirror because she was so discusted with her appearence. I just wanted to yell at her "What are you saying, you are so damn becautiful!!" but I just kept my mouth shut. I realize that some people have a totally faulty view of how they look, whoch is so sad, because these people are usually good looking.

Don't let bdd consume you. Life is way to valuable. And as I have bdd myself I can tell you that there is a high possibility that you might be over critical when it comes to your own looks. You have an oponion about your looks but other might not agree with you at all. They might not see that your flaw even exists. I recommend you to seek some professional help. I eat medicine and I think it has helped me alot. It makes me happier, more energic and more social. Remember that there is help to get and you deserve to feel happy. No one deserves going around feeling dissatisfied with themselves.

Take care sweety.