social anxiety + bi-polar?

So I have social anxiety disorder. I almost never leave my house because the idea of dealing with people is just something I don't want to do, it's scary and I'm always extremely nervous and quiet when I'm talking with people. So I started going to therapy for social anxiety and I realised myself that I need to start getting out there and fixing my problem because at the pace I'm going with my therapist I might be able to buy something at the grocery store without being nervous within the next decade. I was going good! For a few weeks I was feeling great getting out there and I was starting to think there was a light at the end of the tunnel. about a week ago my korean friend I met through the internet called me on skype and we did web cam and we spoke on there for about 2 hours or so and I wasn't nervous at all. I was so proud of myself for not being nervous and I felt like I was on top of the world and I could do anything!

The past two days I noticed I wasn't doing my daily responsibilities like showering or studying the korean language (Which I do to better myself, I don't actually go to the school). I felt really bad that I wasn't doing these and if I did it was with great difficutly and when I studied I wouldn't be able to concentrate and I wouldn't retain anything I learned. But it all started to make sense a few hours ago. This korean girl I had called and web cammed with on skype wanted to do another voice chat. Now other than the last time where I wasn't nervous at all we've talked a few times. mostly every time I'm pretty darn nervous, but this time I was the most nervous I've ever been talking to anyone. I closed my eyes really tight, I was pretty much pulling my hair out or pullling off my ear or anything like that with my hands. I was thinking to myself I'm perfectly normal there's nothing I can do to weird her out I need to stop being nervous. it was so overwhelming I could hardly focus on what she was saying let alone think of something to say back other than mhmm yes no maybe yep. Not thinking of something to say in return makes me even more anxious and it's just a vicous cycle of pain and misery.

So after that incident I started to think, do I have a mix of social anxiety AND bi-polar disorder? before these past few weeks now that I think of it I've always been like this. I'd usually have 1-3 days that are good, followed by a week of horrible depression and the inability to get in the shower or brush my teeth. does this look like bi-polar disorder?

Hi

I am sorry to hear that you have been having a tough time with the social anxiety. No one here can tell you for sure if you have a diagnosis of BP as that needs to be made by a professional. What we do suggest is reading some of the threads here and hanging out on the forum and seeing if anything resonates with you. But I think the most important thing is to see a Dr and tell them what you are experiencing and see what they say.

Best wishes

Cracked

Boonya,
Hi there! Really sorry to hear you're not feeling so well lately. I wanted to post a reply to you because I suffer from both Anxiety and Bipolar. I absolutely agree with the advice Cracked gave you... let a doc know what's going on. I cannot stress that enough. Anxiety and Bipolar are separate conditions but a person can suffer from both at the same time (as I do). One is not necessarily indicative of the other. In other words, not all people with Bipolar suffer from Anxiety disorders and not all people with Anxiety are Bipolar.

The reason why it's so important to let a doc know what's going on is twofold... there are BP meds that also help with anxiety; more importantly, there are BP meds that should be avoided by those of us with Anxiety conditions because they WORSEN anxiety. For instance, my anti-depressant, Prozac, is also known to reduce anxiety. BUT, I cannot take Wellbutrin because it can (and, for me, DID) INCREASE anxiety.

As far as your speaking to your friend online... I know social anxiety all too well. It's one of those conditions that we really have to put effort into overcoming in addition to possibly taking medication for. BUT, it is also one of those conditions that we kinda hafta cut ourselves a break on. If the anxiety is just overwhelming us, we have to recognize that and not expect too much of ourselves. If you need to postpone talking to her until you feel less anxious, it's absolutely OK. Not everyone in my life knows I have MH issues. When I'm feeling unwell, I simply tell people that I'm feeling a bit "under the weather" and will talk to them when I'm feeling better. I don't feel it necessary to tell everyone my conditions and am fine with telling them I just don't feel well. Everyone is different and please do what you feel best for you. But whatever you choose to do, please don't beat yourself up too badly or expect too much of yourself. We do what we are able to do!

Hope you get to feeling better soon.

Many hugs to you,
Kosh

Thanks Koshka, you gave me some great advice! I always look at my bad moments as failures and I always think that I'm taking more steps back than forward. Whenever I tell someone I'm in the mood to talk to them through voice chat they're always upset and I feel really bad but I'm just so nervous sometimes.

Boonya,
Hey, glad I said some things that helped Just never forget that you need, first and foremost, to take care of YOU and if people get a little perturbed that you don't feel like chatting on video, that's their issue. In my view, if a friend wasn't feeling well and offered to chat via voice, heck... I'd tell them that we could talk later when they feel better. Anyone who gets upset over stuff like that isn't thinking about YOU... and true friends do. So don't let anyone else's angst get you down or make you feel like a loser. One thing I've learned thru my schooling and just living in general is that when people get upset with others, half of the issue is really to do with what's going on inside of THEM, not YOU. You just take care of you, my friend

Hugs to you!!!
-Kosh