Struggling with Husband's Bipolar

Hi all. I hope you all don't mind me posting here. I don't struggle personally from bipolarity, however my husband was diagnosed with bipolar 2 a little over a week ago and I'm seriously struggling being the partner of someone with bipolarity. Not at all because he's bipolar and I'm concerned about a stigma. Its because of how he's been acting for the past ten months or more. Our marriage is in shambles and I'm having a very hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

It became an issue probably seven months ago though he admitted it started months before that, he just didn't tell me. He started complaining of racing thoughts and that he couldn't keep his mind straight anymore. He'd get antsy and have to leave at all hours of the day and night, even after a full day of work. He's a chef and works on his feet, constantly doing things so being antsy enough to have to leave and do something was odd. And then came the anger. The anger has been the worst symptom so far. He's almost constantly angry bordering on livid. This especially has just wreaked havoc on our marriage. I think he ends up taking a lot of the anger he builds up during the day at work out on me. He's pulled away from me/our family considerably. He plays video games all the time and just sits there either yelling at the tv or turning completely inward ignoring everyone and everything. In the evenings after the kids are in bed, he leaves almost every night. But despite that he's ignoring me, its become a huge thing to him that I'm doing other things that don't include him. I get on FB or play xbox with my brother. He's extremely jealous that I do these things instead of spending time with him--but he's not home anyway! And when I do ask him to do something with me, I almost always get turned down!! I can't go out with my best friend anymore. Last night he got so angry at me because I asked him if I could run out to the store with her while he got the kids to bed, something he normally does. But I called and asked him instead of waiting until he got home. He was so livid we were up until almost four in the morning arguing!!

I've been begging him to go see a psychiatrist for six months and he's only just gone in the past two weeks. He's started a mood stabilizer, though the psychiatrist admitted he'd probably need an antidepressant, too. He wanted to start just the mood stabilizer to avoid sending DH into a hypermania. Mostly, he is just depressed though we have definitely noticed the hypomania stages.

DH's mood have just gotten awful. I don't know how long they've been this way, probably awhile since he's kept this from me as much as possible until he absolutely can't anymore. He goes through a mood change hourly anymore. The meds haven't had any effect so far. I know it's early to see an effect from the meds, but I was hoping. At this point, I have no idea what to do for him. Everything I've suggested has been struck down, since he first started having issues. But his anger is out of control and I have no idea what to do. I can't take it anymore. I don't know that I can sit here and continue to be his punching bag. Tiny things set him off the deep end. But then he comes back all apologetic and says he just can't control it, he loves me, he doesn't want to lose me. He doesn't know why he does it, he wants to stop, he just can't. Is this true? Does he really lose the ability to think so much that he can't help but scream at me for hours over asking him a question over the phone??! I'm so confused anymore. I don't know what to do for him and I don't know how much longer I can sit here and take it. I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of stepping lightly lest I explode the bomb. I had to explain to my best friend today that I just can't spend time with her anymore. I quit a class I was attending. He keeps getting so angry at me about them.

I just need to know what I can expect for the future. What's the likelihood of this continuing? Will he ever go back to being the person I fell in love with? I realize that this is a lifelong diagnosis but it can be successfully controlled with medication, yes?

I'm sorry this got so long. I needed to vent apparently and I have no one IRL I can really talk to about this. Thank you if you got this far.

First , remember its called a "mood disorder" and it is just that. We are not in pain, or unable to function physically, its just how we feel inside thrashes around all over the place. Some people like myself that have bipolar disorder do not have anger issues. So, that could be another issue he has. I know how much this affects my life , and I am concious of it every waking moment. I am constantly asking myself how I am feeling, and am I overreacting to situations. He needs to get serious about getting well, and it is possible. There is no cure , BUT he can go from out of control to keeping himself under control. This might take years of medication trials, and years of therapy. But if he is serious about improving his life, then his mood can drastically improve, IF he puts the work into it. It WONT suddenly get better on its own one day, and it might just get worse , if he doesn't get help. So in short, its not his fault he is afflicted with this horrible brain disease but it *IS* his fault if he does not work on getting better EVERY DAY!