Advice needed, desperately......

I am bipolar, and it's been difficult coming to terms with it. Now, my 14 year old has just been committed to a drug rehab for opiate addiction, and they are telling me he has a mood disorder, possibly bipolar. I feel awful that I've passed this maddeness on to my son. Any tips on how we can all cope? I feel like I'm going to snap in two.

I don't know how to help you cope with everything. But you're not being fair to yourself to blame yourself for giving him a mood disorder. Scientists can't tell you exactly what causes anyone's mood disorder. Even though bipolar disorder appears to run in families, there are people who have it and don't have relatives with it. Probably, there are relatives with it who don't have it for the same reason. Consider how being prone to cancer appears to be genetic. But two people in the same family can have cancer for different reasons. One may smoke and get lung cancer and another could live in a house with radon and get it.

Until science can say for sure why you have your mood disorder, you can't know why your son has his. Of course, he could blame you for it. But having a teenager who blames you for his problems is an element of normal families. If it wasn't a mood disorder, it could very well be something else.

Hi hon

I am sorry you are all going through such a tough time and I hope your son gets better soon and gets the support he needs. I think it is really difficult to know what is going on in terms of mood disorder as there is a chicken and egg situation with the addiction and that could be the cause for the mood disorder (or it could be mood disorder has caused addiction problems - it is difficult to know). What I would say is I think you may never know why he has deveoped the problems he is going through and I dont think it is fair on you to blame yourself - tho I know that is easy to say and tough in practise. The important thing is you are getting him help and that is what matters. I cant imagine how tough this is for you but please try not to blame yourself for this - you have no way of knowing why this has happened.

Take good care of yourself hon

Hugs

Cracked

Hey Crazy Monkey,

Sorry to hear about your son. It sounds like he's really going through a rough time which, on your part, must be heart wrenching. Hopefully when your son recovers things will get better for the both of you.

In regards to your question, it's possible that your son does not have Bipolar Disorder. Many of the diagnoses that are predicated to children and adolescents don't stick. Many times the youth recover spontaneously or gradually. However, if your son really does have Bipolar Disorder and it's going to persist over the course of his life then the diagnoses is good. Now he has information about what's going on with him and he can find treatment now so that he doesn't have to go through years and years of mental instability and suffering.

Hope things work out for you guys. Take care.

I can understand the guilt you may feel because I had the same reaction when my daughter at the age of 25 was diagnosed last year with bipolar 1. Then my 4 and half year old grandson was diagnosed 4 months ago. This is highly unusual to be diagnosed so young but there was nothing else it could be. I felt I had destroyed 2 peoples lives because of my genes. This does run in family and it is not your fault at all. Family members can have this and never be diagnosed as was my case. There was no family history documented on my side of the family. If I had not been diagnosed we would never have suspected anything unusual with my daughter much less my grandson. I feel at least now everyone can get the help they need and not like it was in my parents days. I know this is very hard for you as I am still dealing with it. Wait till you see a 5 year old so manic that he is a danger to himself and others and hardly sleeps for weeks. I truly felt guilty but realize that this could happen to anyone doesn't always have to run in families. I hope things work out for your son and he gets the helps he needs.
Barbie