by lovehate » Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:24 am
I was recently diagnosed as bipolar 2 with rapid cycling. I've had symptoms of this for a few years, but was only diagnosed with severe depression, so I've been on a ton of antideppressants that never work. Now, I'm taking Lamictal and Zoloft. My severe mood swings destroyed my releationship of a year with one boyfriend. My current boyfriend is much more patient and helpful, although it still hurts him a lot when I get really depressed. It's not just depressed, though. He'll say one thing and not mean anything mean by it, and I'll take it so personally. I feel like he's always picking at me and making fun of me (I'm paranoid/delusional like that), and when I get angry/irritable at him about it, he has no idea what is going on. No matter what he does, even if he comforts me, I feel like he's just not listening to me. We'll get in these arguments and I'll be angry at him because I feel like he doesn't love me enough and he's angry at me because he can't do anything about my feeling this way. When I'm hypomanic, everything is great. I'm passionate about him and all my hobbies, I always know what to say, I think no one can touch me, and we never fight. What I'm asking for is, what should he do to help me when I get down? It seems like nothing he does helps, I just get worse and worse inside my own head. If he jokes with me, I feel like he's not taking me seriously. If he comforts me, I feel like he's just trying to ignore the problem. If he ignores it, I feel like my delusions are justified. If anyone has been in this situation, or knows anyway to help, please post. I'm extremly desperate.