Cognitive v Emotional Depression

Hey guys,

I've been having a really tough time recently. My heart has been hurting for quite a while and it's been getting somewhat worse in the past few weeks. I'm still waiting on some test results which is making me uneasy. Also, on Friday I had a kind of mental breakdown because of alot of things going on. I thought I was going to go insane because it was just getting so much worse and I didn't know how to really stop things from getting worse. It was probably the worst I've ever felt in my life. Anyways, I dropped a course and am really making an effort to get things back on track.

The question that I have really results from a meeting I had with a psychologist (this Tuesday) and she asked me to describe how I felt. She wanted some kind of descriptive adjective and she asked me to write down throughout the day how I felt and I really can't. At first I thought that it was because how I felt was a kind of private experience like qualia that just couldn't really be put into words then I realized that the suffering I felt was more cognitive then emotional (this is embaressingly like a thesis statement )

The question that I have is whether or not anyone has had this. I feel like my brain is a rusty machine and that whenever I use it to think it causes me too experience a kind of mental suffering which is torturous. If someone were to ask me what 5 x 8 x 11 equals doing the calculation would cause me to suffer. And this happens alot. It's sometimes accompanied with an overwhelming depression where I just feel mentally weak in the sense that I just can't cope with simple things like riding the bus, having a conversation or studying. It's really overwhelming. My point is is that there is almost nothing emotional about this. There isn't any sadness or agitation. It's mainly cognitive.

I've had this before as well. I don't know. It's really hard to describe. Have any of you had this.

Take care.

*Edit* Reading this almost makes me think it's like psychosis

Hugs Jester

Reading your post made me wonder about psychosis too as I found it difficult to understand what you were trying to say - I think I kind of do now but I think you might be losing yourself in your head a little. I know when I get psychotic I start thinking things that are quite odd and find it very difficult to verbalise accurately what I mean so others can understand it.

Please look after yourself

Huge hugs

Cracked

Hey I'm sorry to hear that your going through this and I really hope your heart is Ok! I didn't have the experience to the extent your describing it but the statement you used about "...mental suffering which is torturous." I can relate, I find when put in stressful, or overwhelming situations which cause me to think and the answer should be simple but because of the stress or overwhelming sensation I shut down and I don't know the why's of it. I don't know if it's the same but I was always flunking cause I didn't have have the answer in that moment and I freeze sometimes mid conversation cause it's like my brain stops processing the information. It's very frustrating but I kinda thought it was just a part of me that I was just awkward. I mean it has made me think what's wrong with me numerous times but the mental anguish has slowed considerably since the meds so I haven't put much thought back into it.
I also feel like sometimes our emotional brains take holidays I can't count how many numb days I've had where all intents and purposes are there but I'm not emotionally and I'm not even having a bad day, just not feeling it literally. I don't want to in anyway disregard what your feeling or not feeling but like Cracked said I don't want you to over think it either.
And hey take care of you.

$ev

...its too difficult to think about it.

get a vitamin B complex.. vitamin b2, b6, b12 in 1 vitamin etc.

works wonders. for stress, anxiety, and depression.

wish you the best!

Hey Infinite, I'm sorry you're feeling unwell and i wish you a speedy recovery regarding your heart problems. Like Whisky said, the b complex vitamins and omega 3's can really help the heart functions improve. good luck, friend billyblueeyes

CrackedGirl wrote:Reading your post made me wonder about psychosis too as I found it difficult to understand what you were trying to say - I think I kind of do now but I think you might be losing yourself in your head a little. I know when I get psychotic I start thinking things that are quite odd and find it very difficult to verbalise accurately what I mean so others can understand it.

That's so mean! I understand though...

Thanks for your replies. I will look into Vitamin B for my heart. However, I still don't know what's wrong with it. Maybe it's just heart burn or something insignificant.

Thank you and take care.

even better advise... go ask a pharmacist, its free information, and recommendation.

i know there expertise is medication, however i ask them about minerals, and vitamins, looking for a safe feel good fix.

Infinite_Jester wrote:

CrackedGirl wrote:Reading your post made me wonder about psychosis too as I found it difficult to understand what you were trying to say - I think I kind of do now but I think you might be losing yourself in your head a little. I know when I get psychotic I start thinking things that are quite odd and find it very difficult to verbalise accurately what I mean so others can understand it.

That's so mean! I understand though...

Thanks for your replies. I will look into Vitamin B for my heart. However, I still don't know what's wrong with it. Maybe it's just heart burn or something insignificant.

Thank you and take care.

Hugs hugs

I am sorry I was mean but when I have been unwell sometimes people have sugar coated it and it is not helpful - so view me as someone who will tell you the truth even if it is not very nice and at the times when I am mean you can hate me. I am really sorry you are struggling tho and I am here for you.

More hugs

Cracked