Regret

Hey all -

I was only recently diagnosed with bipolar II. It has been a treacherous road since about the age of seventeen until now (I am nineteen and a half). Right now I am at a top-tier university, which adds to the pressure. It's sad - I was talking to a brilliant person yesterday that I just met, and he told me that college is the only time you have to commit yourself to an education. After college, you work.

It's sad because I am a year and a half into college and I have not learned as much as I want to academically because this illness has taken over my life. I am taking off next semester (though I'll be sticking around campus) to deal with this stuff. But I just wince in regret. All of that time I had last year to soak in information...and most of it was spent in my room crying or in mania, thinking I can take over the world.

How can I get over regret? I suppose it is good I have a drive to learn to begin with, which not everyone has. But it seems I will never make up for this lost year and a half.

Hi I get where you are coming from I always wanted to go to medical school and I had the grades to do it to. I could not revise and still get near to perfect scores. My teachers had me all set as star pupil then when I was 13 I had my first manic episode my grades plummeted to a fail. After the episode was over they went back up to A* but at 15 I had a depression lasting over a year and dropped out of high school. At 17 felt normal and thought I would give it another go but unfortunately I went manic and stopped going. This has happened since then however the way I live with that regret is that now I know what is wrong with treatment I dont have to let it hold me back anymore. I have just had a baby but I am going back to study soon and although I am now 24 and later starting that has given me life lessons and wisdom that I wouldnt have had if I hadnt had bipolar and they dont do a class for wisdom. When I do eventually get my dream job I will be better at it because of the experience my mental health has given me. I will also still have many years of working ahead of me.

Thank you very much for that reply. This is true - they do not teach a class on wisdom (well...philosophy is pretty close).

We can always be optimistic and see that some people learn these lessons over the span of their life, and we got it all in a short period in our youth. Perhaps this means we are equipped to deal with some of life's obstacles.

Take care,

bextehude

I think it is very unfair in a way that those of us with mental illness have to go through it and all the regret it brings. Most of my friends are becoming consultants now and I am still not back at work and I feel like I have missed out on things so much. However I try to tell myself that I have the life I have and there are other experiences I have gone through which I would not if I was not BP and things that I have done. So I try to see the good in that. I hope this helps.

Cracked

The notion that your college years are the only opportunity to improve yourself is ridiculous. It is never too late to do what you want in life. Many doctors, musicians, actors, and lawyers begin their education later in life and lead successful careers. Frankly, many of these people are in a better position to take advantage of, and more fully appreciate their studies. Dont give up! Take care of your symptoms first and when you feel well enough, pursue your dreams.

EDIT: I just wanted to add that I graduated from a top tier university earlier this year in a field I later realized was not exactly what I wanted to do the rest of my life and will be returning to school next year to pursue neuroscience. Even so, my computer science degree is still useful. College is less about what you study, but what you get from it from and I can tell from your posts that you've learned more than you perhaps believe. Hang in there!