I'm back

Well, ended up going to the hospital. Got home Tuesday. Had some rather odd experiences. Feeling a lot better as far as my mood goes. They still say it's Bipolar NOS / Psychosis / Social Anxiety Disorder. But, it seems that my anxiety has sky rocketed. Feels like I'm anxious all the time now, to the point of Selective Mutism. I've always had atleast some troubles talking, even from childhood. But now it seems to have re-surfaced. I want to speak, but the anxiety is just so strong that I can't some of the time. I had some "flash backs" in the hospital from childhood. They produced major anxiety in me, and maybe that's what started the Mutism back. Not sure, it just seems like once I conquer one demon, a bigger one is right after it. Now, they never diagnosed me with Selective Mutism as a child, but I do remembering having a hard time relating to other students / teachers with speaking. Always had trouble expressing myself and my emotions. Can anyone relate to this? Just feeling so anxious to the point of Selective Mutism. But anyways, just wanted to say I'm back, and what's been going on. Hope you all have been doing good during my absence.

Best regards,

Jesse

justjesse wrote:Well, ended up going to the hospital. Got home Tuesday. Had some rather odd experiences. Feeling a lot better as far as my mood goes. They still say it's Bipolar NOS / Psychosis / Social Anxiety Disorder. But, it seems that my anxiety has sky rocketed. Feels like I'm anxious all the time now, to the point of Selective Mutism. I've always had atleast some troubles talking, even from childhood. But now it seems to have re-surfaced. I want to speak, but the anxiety is just so strong that I can't some of the time. I had some "flash backs" in the hospital from childhood. They produced major anxiety in me, and maybe that's what started the Mutism back. Not sure, it just seems like once I conquer one demon, a bigger one is right after it. Now, they never diagnosed me with Selective Mutism as a child, but I do remembering having a hard time relating to other students / teachers with speaking. Always had trouble expressing myself and my emotions. Can anyone relate to this? Just feeling so anxious to the point of Selective Mutism. But anyways, just wanted to say I'm back, and what's been going on. Hope you all have been doing good during my absence.

Best regards,

Jesse

I can relate in the sense that I stay out of hospitals. If I were ever admitted into a hospital, it would probably be the last time. I wouldn't be able to hold it together. I don't like being cornered. I would rage and go psychotic and it would get ugly for me. They would then get all excited to keep me there permanently...it's how they work.

I disassociate, heavily, to stay out of the hospital. Me, "winning", just like Charlie Sheen.

Hi hon and welcome back. I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing and how we can help. Thinking of you.

Cracked