Feeling weird

HI mY doctor said i have bi polar .

i find that some tmes i am in a good mood suddenly get upset when i remeber something bad that happened to me. i sometimes feel weird think my thoughts are to mushy in my brian , i am feeling kind of sad and unhappy . i feel weird sometimes i get afraid cause i think im weirdo and others can sense that im weird so get upset and start to get worried and when i worry i loose control and sense of what im doing i even get into panic disorders from my moods when in a panic disorder i rember in LA i got scared and started to panick . i just drove my car really fast trying to escape . i was really freaking out . my mind was wasted and i felt tripping out . i get panic attacks but not to often . iam moody cause of my worries and my not able to heal situation . i feel paranoid and delussioned at times weird like all people are observing me and watching me. i get worried and dont know what to do . so i trip even more and more . i feel scared and do nasty crazy things that they call mood disoreder i find it hard living with a bi polar deseas e i think it is different than other problems in life cause its scary the thoughts that confuse and scare me i dont know if they belong to me or others i have been invaded too much in thoughts , feelings , others opinions i am wondering are thse myine or theirs my doctor told me to take medication i have been on and off medication i feel weird when on medication so istopped it . sometimes i feel ok other times i feel paranoid like people can read my ideas i know its crazy but i geuss i maximize issues to much myfreind say i have all or nothing thinking my ideas are distorted and my mind is blurry and moody its hard leading a life with a mental illness but iguess its my faith i accept that i have to be like this

You dont have to be like this hon. Please go back and see your Dr and tell them you stopped your meds and why you did that. they may be able to find better ones for you that suit you.

Cracked