insane jealousy

anyone here know of a cure for insane jealousy?

truthfully im not the person to answer a quessie about relationships but heres a thought

jealousy is when all your focus and attention is on the person inside your head

if that love and intense emotional feeling you have for that person can be diverted by you towards yourself, and away from the person you are focusing on then you may well forget about them

learn to like yourself and then others will like you, im sure

My concept of jealousy is based on rivalry (i.e., I'm jealous of someone that I perceive as a threat or a rival, and hate them for seeming to have what I want), so (1) I first determine what or whom the object of the rivalry is.

The next thing I do is (2) really think hard to determine if my "rival" really is enviable or privileged to have what I crave (love, affection, admiration, material possessions, whatever). And then (3) I sift through my memories to search for any real, hard evidence that I'm at a disadvantage to my "rival." If there is hard evidence, and my rival does have an enviable advantage, I ask myself why I am craving something so badly that I've turned insane. Then I turn on the imagination function in my brain and start generating ideas on how to get what I'm craving from other sources.

If I can't find any hard evidence that the rival that I'm jealous of is actually at an advantage, I try to (4) comfort myself with the realization that there's nothing to fear, and go forward using the very good advice of the last poster: learn to like yourself and others will like you, too. And then jealousy just falls away. Good luck!

minerva wrote:My concept of jealousy is based on rivalry (i.e., I'm jealous of someone that I perceive as a threat or a rival, and hate them for seeming to have what I want), so (1) I first determine what or whom the object of the rivalry is.

The next thing I do is (2) really think hard to determine if my "rival" really is enviable or privileged to have what I crave (love, affection, admiration, material possessions, whatever). And then (3) I sift through my memories to search for any real, hard evidence that I'm at a disadvantage to my "rival." If there is hard evidence, and my rival does have an enviable advantage, I ask myself why I am craving something so badly that I've turned insane. Then I turn on the imagination function in my brain and start generating ideas on how to get what I'm craving from other sources.

If I can't find any hard evidence that the rival that I'm jealous of is actually at an advantage, I try to (4) comfort myself with the realization that there's nothing to fear, and go forward using the very good advice of the last poster: learn to like yourself and others will like you, too. And then jealousy just falls away. Good luck!

Wow this is some good advice! I had a breakdown because of jealousy. It seems it's only with regards to my gfs/ex gfs that really sends me over the edge. I still struggle to manage it.