Dealing w/ HYPERSEXUALITY/IMPULSIVITY

Hello, I'm new here & apologize for not first submitting an introductory post, but I have come to this forum in a moment of need. I am currently in a hypomanic phase & as usual the biggest single "issue" for me is hypersexuality & almost complete lack of impulse control. When I'm like this I also tend to fixate on a particular person; in this case it's a married neighbor. Yesterday it was really bad & I flirted with him pretty obviously, only restraining myself with great difficulty from making a physical move on him. I stayed awake nearly all night just incredibly HIGH and fantasizing about him.

Today I'm a little more rational -- "sobered up" a bit, if you know what I mean, though still with the hypersexuality. I feel pretty desperate not to make a fool of myself with my neighbor and/or hurt anyone. He's a pretty decent, honorable kind of guy & in my current feeling of desperation I'm considering just telling him about my bipolar. Has anyone else done this? I mean, just saying to him, "Hey, I have bipolar disorder and sometimes have these periods of mania when my judgement isn't very good & I have trouble controlling myself around people I'm attracted to. It's a bit like being drunk; so I'm sorry aboit yesterday and I just want to warn you that I might do that again sometime, but if I do, just go ahead and tell me you're not interested in ruining your marriage, and that'll probably dump a bucket of cold water on me pretty quick!"

Does this seem like a viable way of explaining myself and pre-emptively heading off any future lapses of judgement on my part? Or will I just come across as a freak & lose a wonderful friendly neighbor in the process? Any input is appreciated. I know my judgement is still off, so feel free to metaphorically smack me upside the head if need be! LOL.

WabiSabi Girl

Hey there WabiSabi -

I get hypersexuality too. Unfortunately I got no available guys around me. Though I did tell my boyfriend that lives in another state that I would have raped him if he was there. Anyways... Can you do something else to deal with this, like masturbation? Do you have a therapist you could call to distract yourself?

Concerning telling him about it.. I don't know if that's the best idea. You may lose a friend there. I would suggest just trying to deal with this until it passes.

WabiSabi,
Unfortunately I suffer from the opposite problem... my meds have completely destroyed my libido. But sorry to hear you're going through this. I would agree with MM on this one... telling the neighbor wouldn't be a great idea. If all you did was flirt and didn't lunge at him, I'm sure that he probably didn't make too big a deal of it (no "what the hell?" look on his face, right?) So, I'd go with trying as best you can to distract yourself or talk to someone (or hang out on here talking) till things subside a bit. I used to get really paranoid about things I did when "hypo" (I get hypo when I drink too much and spend the 'day after' trying to remember each and every stupid thing I did under the influence...half of which I couldn't remember till others told me...ugh!) and had a friend who had to keep reminding me that others didn't sit and dwell on my acts as much as I did... that helped me put it in perspective a lot. Try to hang in there... you're in an unwell period and your flirting was probably not to the level you think it was.

-Koshka

Thanks for the thoughtful replies, guys. Having thought about it a bit more, I think I've decided not to say anything, for one main reason I hadn't thought of earlier (which only goes to show how skewed my thoughts have been!): our kids play together, and I don't want to jeopardise *their* friendship by stigmatizing myself as the "unstable crazy lady". I'd rather be thought a slutty flirt than a nutjob, because in the latter case he might have second thoughts about letting his kids play over here. Ah, what a tangled web we weave. Haha, even as I type this I'm sitting out front in skimpy little shorts hoping he sees me when he gets home from work... *facepalm*

Sometimes this feels like a losing battle, alright.

You are not fighting a losing battle, you are unwell. I get really hypersexual too. FWIW I do tell ppl about my bipolar ?too much esp when high, as I think it is better for ppl to know. But you need to do what is right for you. If you are hypo do you think you should talk to your Dr? Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Cracked

I got hypersexual once. It started when I joined an online game. It was like very strong feelings of infatuation and intense excitement. I couldn't rationalise my feelings as I didn't know the person/s that I was online with. Needless to say I made a complete fool of myself and one of them actually asked me if I was bipolar. I actually don't have a diagnosis of bipolar so I was very embarrassed about my behaviour. In the end I told myslef I was broody hence my irrational behaviour but when the person who had become the object of my affections quit the game, I was devestated and cried for two weeks. I actually kept in touch with that person now and fortunately those feelings have now subsided but I still cringe when I think of my behaviour toward him.