Could my daughter be bipolar?

I am a 50 yo retired nurse, and mother of a 24 yo daughter. For some back history, she started becoming aggressive, rebellious etc at 16. Later things smoothed out for awhile, and then lots of things going on in between.
Recently, a few months ago, she started becoming very obsessive about her's and her daughters things being in a particular order. Her 4 yo old daughter and her both lived with me for 4 yrs until about a month ago.If toys werent in a certain order ,shoes etc, she would throw them in the floor in a pile and demand the baby pic them up and put them away right. At one point, I found out she told my DGD that I had thrown her toys in the floor and wanted them picked up...not her. These episodes were upsetting but tolerable.
Then about 2 months ago, she began to tell DGD that they were moving out soon, and began to pack her things. I advised her if she was going to be going to school soon to wait for that yr to be over before moving so I could help with DGD. Then 1 month ago she began working at a doctor's office. A sleep and lung specialist. Who seemd a bit of a quake when he would offer patients coming in off the street for an appointment , a job. Then right after starting here, her rages began. She would go to work till 5 then shop, work out, and then come home later, pay little attention to daughter then suddenly start throwing her toys,clothes, shoes whatever she deemed "not in its proper place" into the hallway, and demanding again baby pick them up. This was beginning to occur almost every evening. Then the last one here was particularly bad when she busted a hole in the bathroom door opposite her room, and a few toys, when my husband began to toss them back into her bedroom floor from the hall, she began to throw them in his direction. He yelled if she was going to act like this then she needed to leave. Suddenly she begins to grab bags and baby and left.
I found out she is staying with a girl she works with. But what bothers me more than anything is that she at first denied us access to baby. Then when we did see her in passing, she began to act out towards me. Acting fearful, then she once told my 21 yo daughter I "hurt" her. So I caught her in front of her mother and asked if I hurt her, she didnt say anything, then I asked who told her I hurt her, and she pointed towards her mother. Now yesterday I tried to talk with her on the phone and the child screamed she hated me and hung up. She will soon be 5.
I have only lightly tapped this childs bottom 2-3 times in the 4 yrs she has lived with us. I have never and would never hurt her. We spent all of our retirement and savings to the tune of over $60,000 to help her with a custody case against an abusive ex. I cant talk to my daughter because she blows up and begins screaming OVER my voice. My other children 21, and up all say she is nuts. But something seems to be going on. Her unexplained rage towards me is hurting the child and our once loving relationship.There is no way I could discuss her getting help when she wont talk to me. Is this bipolar? It seems like it could be from what I have read, but then she is able to function normally at work. At least she is not fired. Wouldnt she also have episodes at work, or is it just that there arent triggers there?
Tammy

Hey,

I don't actually believe that this is bipolar, but I can see how it seems that way. In my opinion, this is OCD. It starts with trying to control everything - keep everything in order - but this is an impossibility and the person then 'loses control' through being angry/violent. I did it...it happened to me. Getting a diagnosis is actually important in this case because for all she knows, there's no way out of this. However, there most certainly IS a way out. Her moving out was just an attempt to escape her problems...it's not that she hates you or the children... it's just that she cannot cope.

Perhaps you could read-up on OCD to see how it relates to her?

Kevin

Thanks for your thoughts on the matter. I will read up more on OCD.
Tammy

Okay - you're welcome. My official diagnosis is OCD by the way, but it was diagnosed many years ago. i've been through therapy and much torment to get to the 'pleasant' state that I'm in now.

Kevin

In the past few months she has been "obsessed" with buying things, especially clothing. Spending upwards of $800/mo. One day in a calm moment, we told her she should have been saving that money, and she calmly said "I know it". Shocked us both with that. And the issue with the toy etc. These are the only areas that seem to fit the OCD. But I wonder , do the rages, and her telling child lies about us?
Tammy

Those rages are only a secondary - indirect - affect. You see, the person tries desperately to have control over everything in their life. When they cannot get control, they feel 'suffocated' and they start barking back at the world. They develop rages and blame everyone else, when the real problem is with themselves. I cannot really know for sure if she has OCD or not - She'd have to go to a doctor about it.