My Bipolar 2 story...<<<<<<<<<<<

Friday, June 24, 2005
Schizophrenia and Bipolar....

It's been a tough week as my wife is in the hospital. I've also had to work 12 hour days, go home get a few hours sleep, then go visit my wife in the hospital. Repeat the process the next day. Her new diagnosis is "schizophrenia with severe depression; an eating disorder(not eating) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)(she obsesses about life's problems). Shes in pretty bad shape and it looks like she may be in the hospital through the weekend at least.

My bipolar disorder is actually holding up rather well. Usually when I don't get enough sleep I slip into a mania phase. So far my sypmtoms are rather stable.I'll be done working all the mandatory overtime on Monday morning. I'm deep down hoping that my wife stays in the hospital through the weekend as I can't be home to support her mentally.

And to top it off tonight, I hit a deer about 100 yards from where I work. It hit me broadside on the drivers side. It busted out the drivers side rear view mirror. No other damage to the side of the car because I drive a Saturn L200. You can hit the side of a car with a hammer and it pops back out with no damage. Dont know what its going to cost to fix the stupid mirror. Todays deer makes the 5th deer I hit with a car. Luckly there is no real damage this time.

It amazing how life can throws things at you. Sometimes you just gotta laugh !!

Hang in there, one day at a time. I had a similiar deer hit a few years ago. The mirror was not too expensive to fix. It basically just is attached with a few small bolts from inside. I think I did have to wait a few days for the mirror to come in. I hardely ever drive at night anymore because the deer are as thick as flies around dead animals.
Good Luck,
Jim S

I wasn't sleeping very well the last week or so. I mentioned it to my pdoc. He gave me some sample doses of Seroquel 200mg. I took one last night to see how well it worked. I already read on the internet that Seroquel works good for a sleep aid even though thats not its main purpose. I took the 200mg tablet at bedtime. Talk about kicking your butt!! I had to get up in the middle of the night to pee and it was all I could do to get there. I was so druggged up I couldn't walk. I had to hang on to wall to get to the bathroom. Once I did wake up the next day, all I could do was sleep. Plus I was sleepy until about 2pm today. It took a strong cup of coffee to help cut the drugged up feeling. The pages I read on the internet said the normal dosage of Seroquel is 50-100mg to start. I guess my pdoc wanted me to really sleep as it worked. I wont take another 200mg again. I'll go to 100mg if I need it again. ONLY if I need it again.!!

200mg!!!!!! Wow, that is alot, usually that is the dose for psychosis,

I used to take 25mg and increase it from there as needed, but didn't use it for long periods of time. The drowsy feeling does go away after you use it awhile. For just a good night sleep, this is a potent med, so be careful, as you found out.

Try the 25 mg, and see if that helps. I'm sure it will, if not, you can take another 25 but make sure you take it, lay down, and close your eyes.

I like the idea of your posting your daily trials here, I'm sure it is helping many to understand. Bipolar is something that has to be observed on a daily basis to understand. and this is a great way.

I am bipolar 1, I hardly have depressions but when I do OUCH!! since I am not used to them, they are horrific, and I have many thoughts of su#cide. I am also 43.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife, you seem to very strong for her. This is the way with my husband too, when I am up, he is down, when I am down, he is up and strong.



much luck with this. ddee

My wife is doing well and has returned to work. Now I am sleeping alot better. The ativan is working again. I don't plan on taking anymore of that Seroquel unless I absolutely need to.

I just finished up a 2.5 week of work where I worked an additional 84 hours of overtime. I'm surprised I didn't get into a mania episode from the lack of sleep. I felt depressed but after a few days sleep I feel much better. I guess it was just physical exhaustion.

Anyway, I'm back into a normal routine, and life looks great for now...

I can't believe how good I feel right now. The Lamictal has stabilized my moods, and I am sleeping good.

Things are good in my bipolar world !!! Actually better than good(no I'm not in a mania episode)

So I'm happy to report that there is nothing to report. Lets hope it stays that way.

After reading your story I am glad to hear that things are looking up for you.

asusr6 wrote:I'm now 43 years old. I am Bipolar 2 (manic depressive). This page journeys my life history into the world of being bipolar.

As a teenager, I always knew there was something not quite right with me. At times I was shy, withdrawn, backwards. At other times I was outgoing, popular and thrill seeking. I would bounce back and forth between these two worlds. However most of the late teen years was spent in on again, off again deep depressions. At the time(late 1970's) I really didn't know about depression. This was even before Prozac hit the market.

The one bright spot in my late teen years was my girlfriend (later to become my wife). Problems was is that she had as many dark secrets in her life as I did.{see schizoaffective disorder forum -"Our Story"} She suffered abuse by a relative among other thing. But we loved each other deeply and our similar problems brought us even closer together. We did all the things that teenage couples do and on the outside we each were very happy together. But inside we each had our own problems. We just buried them deep inside so as not to bring the other person down.

I experimented with drugs in high school and college. Mostly pot and acid. I loved getting high. It was a great escape from the pain in my life. I got high as often that my limited income would allow.
After High School, I went away to college. Not just any college, but one of the top ten party schools in the country !( Brutus is their mascot) In college I got to take drugs for free as my roomates came from well to do familes. I branched out into hashish, cocaine, and more acid and alcohol. College is the greatest place to party! I probably spent about 75% of my time stoned. It helped to take away the pain.
But this fun was short lived. I finished my freshman year with a solid "C" average. I don't know how I did it.
However, I couldn't afford to return to college. I had to give up my dream of that college degree. But at least I had "fun" while I was there.

Since I couldnt afford college, I figured I do the next best thing. I asked my girlfriend to marry me and she accepted. The joy had returned into our lives (for now)......................................

We were married for only 2 months when my wife became pregnant with our first child. We were thrilled, as we wanted to have children early so that we would still be "young" when they went out into the world on their own. What I found out at this time was that I was becoming more irritable and depressed inside. As both of my children(3yrs apart) grew up, I was pretty much a prick with them as they grew older. I didn't abuse them or anything like that but when the made childhood mistakes I treated them as they were adults and should have known better. Inspite of this both children grew up to be happy well adjusted adults, and we are a very close family.

When my children were about 4-5 years old, I started having physical problems. I developed irirtable bowel syndrome, digestive problems, and sleeping disorders. I then went to my family doctor for help. The doctors basically blamed my problems on diet and stress. I took the medicines they gave me and generally felt better. The problem was that in reality I was growing more and more depressed each month. I was in a funk. I guess I didn't really realize that I was suffering from depression.

On a follow up visit to my doctors some months later, I notice a poster hanging up on the doctors wall that asked if you had these certain symptoms. They were symptoms of depression. It was at this point that I realized what was going on with me. When the doctor came back into the room, I asked about the poster and said that it sounded just like what I had. The doctor asked a few more questions and agreed that I had depression. He prescribed me Prozac.

What a wonderful drug Prozac was. It made my moods better, I finally felt the best I had in years. The only problem was is that it quit working in about 6 months or so. I just experienced Prozac poop-out. I basicaslly deceided at that point that medicines were useless so I didn't pursue it any further with my doctors.

I was feeling ok for quite awhile after the Prozac incident anyway so I just went about my business. Of course in time I started feeling bad again. I dropped into a deep depression that hung over me like a rain cloud. I still went to work everyday and did my daily chores, but I was once again in my funk.I didn't realize it at the time but I was just about to begin a 20 yr journey that would ultimately lead me to where I am today.

After I started really feeling bad again, I went back to my doctor for help with my depression. What happened now was for the next 20 years is that I would be put on just about every antidepressant known to mankind. They all had the same effect: They'd work for a few months or so then quit working. I'd get frustrated and stop going to the doctor. Then I'd repeat the cycle- feel worse- goto the doctor- new pill- works awhile then quit working- quit taking drug all together- and repeat the entire process over again. Boy how 20 years of this process flew by!

About this time my father-in-law died. My wife took it really hard. Losing her father was the worst thing that has ever happened to her. She basically had a nervous breakdown. I had to put her in the pschy ward for a week.
She was diagnoised as having schizoaffective disorder. This explained alot of the things that my wife had going on in her mind all these years. I always suspected that she was schizo in many ways. Through her hospitalization she was helped with medications. We were fortunate enough to have the head of the pschy ward as her pschyiatrist.
Over time he has helped her through medications overcome her problems. Not that shes 100% but she is now doing great.

See Schizoaffective disorder forum - http://www.psychforums.com/forums/viewt ... 16&start=0

What happened to my wife was the best thing that also happened for me! After many visits with her pdoc, I finally built up enough courage to ask to be evaluated. We made an appointment for a evaluation. Boy, it sure was very detailed. Hundreds of questions,etc. The nurse was very good at her job also. Did a complete medical workup on me also. After all the evalations, I met with my wife's pdoc. He explained to me that what I had wrong with me was that I was BIPOLAR. Thats why the antidepressants didn't work. I also scored high for stress levels and for depression. He explained in detail what it meant to be bipolar. He gave me the scientific DSM-4 definitions and he also described in plain english what it meant. He told me that I wasn't Bipolar 1 but rather Bipolar 2. Bipolar 1 has more mania than Bipolar 2. But Bipolar 2 has more and darker depression. The information the pdoc gave to me was an exact definition of what I was going through. It was like a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders!

He explained that what I really needed was a mood stabilizer in addition to an antidepressant. He put me on Paxil and Lamictal. He also prescribed Risperdal for my mind and Ativan so that I could sleep better. Over the next 5-6 weeks I started feeling great again. It takes that long to get up to the full strength of the Lamictal. I also slept the best I ever had in the past 25 years.

I read everything I could on the internet about mental health and Bipolar. It seems that I'm a text book case. What a great relief to finally get the right diagnioses.They say it takes on average 11 years from the time you see a doctor until the time you get a correct diagniose of being Bipolar. In my case it was more like 20+ years.
Now that I'm on the meds I feel pretty good most of the time. I still have my ups and downs, but it is only temporary.

Wow, you & your wife have been thru some hard times! Thank goodness you came out as well as you did. I know your kids are relieved.

My husband sounds like he's more Bipolar 2. I didn't realize there were 2 different kinds until I read your post. WOW! I learned something new today! So glad you posted.

Hubby's on Lamictal & that has been WONDERFUL for his bipolar disorder. He's also on Stelazine. So far, so good.

Again, so glad you posted.

PW

My meds have my bipolar 2 condition under such great control that I don't even feel that there is anything wrong with me.

As of right now, I don't need to post any updates to the forum. If need be, I will !

I'm still doing great on my current drug regiment of 200mg Lamictal, 1mg Risperdal, 2mg Ativan.

Other than an occasional few nights of not sleeping I still feel great.

THERE IS HOPE !!