My Bipolar 2 story...<<<<<<<<<<<

by **asusr6** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 6:52 am

Hope I didn't depress you...

I was just re- reading my last post ... It sure sounds depressing. I hope I didn't bum you out.

I'm done working the overtime and got my much needed sleep. How much sleep I get is in a direct correlation to how I feel.
In my case I tend to feel more hypomania when I get less sleep. When I'm feeling a depressive phase I tend to need more sleep. I try to not oversleep as that makes me feel worse and exhausted.

I've been blog surfing via blogexplosion.com. Some of the sites have really nice layouts. I hope to get rid of this format when I get a chance. Generally I've been blogging at work. Wouldn't my corporation love me if they knew I was doing this ! I guess they could bust me if they took the trouble to read the log files on the main server. I've been surfing the web from my office for years and I survived 4 periods of management layoffs. I still have my job. Besides- they could always cut off my internet connection to my computer if they really wanted to.

I'll try not to be too depressing in the future. However I guess thats what blogs are for. Writing what you feel at the moment. I've only been bloggging for approx. 3 weeks now so its all new to me. I want to get back to taking nature pics with my digital camera and start a blog with them. We'll see if that comes into being. If it does, I'll provide a link in this blog.

Vacation and Paxil withdraws...

Enjoying my vacation- went fishing and worked around the house the last few days.
The only downside so far is that I ran out of my paxil for 2 days. Talk about withdraws- got extremely dizzy and shaky. Paxil is tough on you when you dont have it. Today I got my prescription in the mail so I'm good for the next 90 days. As soon as I took a paxil and it got back into my system I started feeling better right away.

by **asusr6** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 6:55 am

Getting rid of Paxil....

I told the pdoc that even though paxil works great for me, I can't stand the weight gain that came with it. To date I've gained over 30 pounds in the last 6 months. I cant stand to even look at myself in the mirror. I was already over weight before the paxil and now the med has me looking like a water ballon thats ready to pop.

He agreed that we can start the withdraw from paxil and then see what happens. He knows I'll still need some sort of antidepressant, but will cross that bridge in 4 weeks.
For now I'm to cut my dosage in half each week for the next three weeks then quit it altogether. My guess is that I'll end up on Wellbutrin or something similar that doesn't have weight gain associated with it.

by **asusr6** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 6:55 am

Stigma...

I kept my bipolar diagnois a secret from everyone except my wife for months. I finally did tell my mom and dad and my mother-in-law. Right away they had a denial about it and said I just need to think positive thoughts.

I looked up everything I could find about bipolar on the internet and then choose the top 5 resourses and sent them links to them.
Amazing, once they read about bipolar from independant sources on the internet how their attitudes have changed.

Now they even ask me how I'm feeling (overall pretty good) and how well my meds are working (very good).

So don't be in dispair if your loved ones don't understand the nature of a mental illness. Educate them as much as possible. The internet can possibly teach them more than you can.

Eleanor Rooselvelt once said,"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission"Don't let peoples ingnorance of the facts effect your self esteem.

Nobody can steal your joy- You have to give it away !

by **asusr6** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 6:57 am

Obsessed with Paxil....

I not obsessed with Paxil but rather getting rid of it. Tommorrow I start my 10mg dosage, down from the original 40mg. (was on 37.5mg CR but since the feds busted GSK and couldn't get CR anymore he put me on regular release 40mg)
So far I have NOT had any withdraw symptoms from the reduction of dosage. This week it'll be 10mg then the following week- ZERO.
We'll see what happens. Withdraw symptoms, if any will be listed in my blog.

by **asusr6** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:00 am

Tuesday, June 14, 2005
The terrible withdraws have begun...

This the is second full day without taking any Paxil. I'm extremely dizzy and have a woooooosh feeling in my head.My vision is kind of fuzzy when I move my head. I'm still functioning ok.(I'm at work typing this...90% of the time I'm at work blogging my posts) To make matters worse, my wife who is schizophrenic is going through a really bad time right now mentally. Yes we're a wacko family. I knew my wife was schizo when I married her. Shes only been hospitalized three times in the last 10 years. If it wasn't for her meds I think I'd have to hospitalize her right now. Even with her meds she is teetering on the edge.

It's taking everything out of me right now. With her sick and me having withdraws.... sort of like the saying " I picked the wrong week to quit drinking"
No I dont drink....

We'll make it through all of this somehow. But I not going back on Paxil. We see the pdoc next Monday.

by **asusr6** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:01 am

Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Day 3 withdraws...

Not only am I more dizzy or whoooosing feeling than yesterday, but now I'm having gastrointestional problems if you know what I mean.Also I could only sleep for 3 hrs so now I'm tired on top of it all.

And oh ya, my wife was just permanently layed off from her job today.

When it rains, it pours.... You just gotta laugh sometimes at what life throws at you...either that or go insane...

by **asusr6** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:02 am

Friday, June 17, 2005
Day #5 withdraws...

Day #5's withdraws are just as bad. No let up on the symptoms at all yet. I'm getting tired of being dizzy.But I miss what Paxil did for me. The getting too fat factor was the reason for getting rid of it. If I'd known ahead of time that the withdraws were going to be so severe I'd never have taken it. But in reality, I miss what it did for me.

Good new today is that my wife got called back to work-seems they laid off 6 people too many. She goes back to work today.

by **asusr6** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:03 am

Saturday, June 18, 2005
Day 6 of Paxil withdraws...

Day 6 isn't any better than the other days. Right now it's even hard to type as my head is spinning. Dizziness is really bad today. I also just realized how tired I am due to not getting much sleep. I've been having very vivid dreams that have disturbed my sleep. I'm still making it to work everyday. Good thing I have an office where I can go to when the withdraw symptoms get really bad . One of my employees just caught me sitting at my desk with my head in my hands because the room was spinning around. At least he asked if I was alright. I can't really see where the step-down method of cutting the dosage each week has done a thing for me. I figured the withdraws would be over by now, but I don't see any end in sight.I go to our pdoc on Monday. Hopefully he can offer suggestions.

by **asusr6** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:03 am

Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Day 10 of Paxil Withdraws

Nearly all my dizziness is now gone. Still not sleeping very well but that may be due in part to having to hospitalize my wife. Her relapse made it nessesary to have her go into the hospital for awhile. Sure is lonely at home without her. The visiting hours at the psych ward helps somewhat but it will be nice once she returns home.

My pdoc said he doesn't want me on any antidepressants for now. He wants to take a wait and see approach. He thinks the Lamictal will do the job.I feel pretty good right now. Hopefully it will stay that way since that means once less pill to take per day.

My Bipolar 2 story...<<<<<<<<<<<

Hope I didn't depress you...

ADVERTISEMENT

VACATION and much needed rest

Getting rid of Paxil

Stigma

Obsessed with Paxil...

The withdraws have begun..

Day 3 of withdraws...

Day 5 withdraws...

Day 6 Withdraws

Day 10 of withdraws...

Who is online