Hardest thing spouse/loved one has dealing with

i have been researching bi-polar illness for the past couple of days, because my husband seems to do into deep wells of depression, he quits his job suddenly, stays in bed and drags us into financial turmoil. he also begins to binge drink and gamble (i live in oregon where video poker is everywhere).

a few days later, he gives me huge apologies, and does everything he can to make things better, but i know it's just a matter of time before we go through it all again. we are expecting a daughter this sept., and his moods have gotten worse since we found out we are having a baby. is it common for a big life event to trigger the bi-polar illness? his brother has bi-polar disorder, takes medication, and is completely sober. he says that he has thought for years that his brother (my husband) has the disorder, but i can't seem to get my husband to a mental health center for an evaluation to get him the help he knows he needs. it's as if he is too proud to admit this illness has taken him over.

my biggest wish is to just get him stable so we can enjoy our wonderful life.

bipolarity is like taking a drug without knowing you ever did. u feel wonderful but hopeless soon after. perhaps when he is depressed u can remind him of other times he felt this way, altho no one wants to hear that they *think* wrong. if u prove to him he is depressed for neglible reasons, perhaps he'll admit a real reason.

i hav a more serious condition where i can see my own problem - it sounds like he does not; i suggest find ways to prove his problem (the depressive side) is real but unfounded in reality, and give him hope - depression is not his fault.

-matt

hello,
unfortunately with bi-polar people they only ever come to the attention of the mental health services when their condition is causing irrepairable problems in their lives.

it seems as though you take on much of the burden of your husbands illness, by enabling him to be ill, you are not helping him or yourself.

you are always there to pick up the pieces, i suggest that you point out to him how much you love and care about him , but that you willnot copr with his episodes any longer, unless HE seeks help.

even if he feels that his problems are not too severe for him , they are for you! so get some support for yourself too.

lots of luck