questions

I have at least one question for you guys; maybe more.

Okay so here it is. Have any of you ever been treated for depression with that thing that shocks you or whatever? I think that sounds really scary. I couldn't believe they'd do that to people. How could it help. If anyone here was treated with that, did it hurt really bad and did it help you mentally?

Another thing. I'm constantly hearing bad things about mental hospitals, and I know they wouldn't be "fun", but what's so bad about them? I know that some of you have spent time in them before, and I was just wondering what it's like and everything.

I've been keeping a journal of how I'm feeling and everything.

I've looked over it and I think there probably is something wrong with me. I'm still never sure though. IDK. This is confusing.

~element

Another thing. I'm constantly hearing bad things about mental hospitals, and I know they wouldn't be "fun", but what's so bad about them? I know that some of you have spent time in them before, and I was just wondering what it's like and everything.


I was in a mental ward for about 4 weeks when I was young. We all just sat around day after day. We had no program, no organized activities, no therapy, but we got lots of meds. I wasn't mistreated, but I was not given much help either. Things are supposed to be different now. Others on this forum can probably tell you more about how things are today in the hospitals.

I've been keeping a journal of how I'm feeling and everything.

That's great you are doing that.
Jim S

Thanks Jim,

I've heard that mental hospitals are a lot better than they used to be, but then I read something and this guy said that he had to spend two weeks in one and that is was a terrible experience for him. he really hated it. I've always been scared of mental hospitals, and i just wonder what exactly goes on in them.

hopefully I can have some people tell me what they're like now. I wonder if anyone knows much about the electic thing. That really bothered me when I read about it. That seems like cruel punishment instead of helpful therapy. I'm sure they would never do that to me, but being someone who gets depressed a lot, it scared me.

Well, I'm doing great today. I guess I need to write it down. I HATE mood swings!!

~element

What I understand from reading about shock treatments (the electric thing) is that a person is given drugs to relax his muscles, then electricity is run through the head. Because the muscles are relaxed, the person does not junp around--they used to in the old days. The electric shock sort of resets the brain--there is some temporary memory loss. It is used because it gives quick results and it often works when other treatments have not. Usually, people are given various combinations of meds for depression before going to the shock treatments.
Jim S

So it doesn't hurt?

From people I have talked to, the answer is no, it does not hurt. It is still a little shocking (if you will pardon the pun) to the system. People have told me that they are tired and sort of out of it for a couple of days afterward.

As Jims said, it is not used as frequently as it used to be. It is going the way of the dinosaur as there are far more effective treatments that are not as hard on the body.

I don't honestly think this is something you need to be worrying about...I think that some cognitive/talk therapy and perhaps some other tools would help you with your situation. Only a doctor can tell you for sure (hint hint).

Your journal is a great idea...it will help you learn about what is happening to you...you can show it to people who are trying to help you...it will give them perspective on what is happening to you.

Take care,

YAY!!
PEDRO IS BACK!!

I'm glad to hear that it doesn't hurt 'cuz I thought that would be a really cruel thing to do to someone if it did hurt.

I don' t think I would need to worry about it either, but it just kind of bothered me 'cuz I thought it was really mean.

I think I would probably get "normal" therapy if I ever do get any at all.

I don't honestly think this is something you need to be worrying about...I think that some cognitive/talk therapy and perhaps some other tools would help you with your situation. Only a doctor can tell you for sure (hint hint).

Yes, i noticed the (hint hint). I know you think I should talk to a doctor, and you're probably right. I'm just in no hurry to do it. Maybe I should be. I'm still considering it though.

I would like to show my journal to my mom, after I've been writing in it for about a month, but I don't think I can. It's too embarrassing and I'm ashamed of certain things that I've written about in it--such as hitting myself. That's my biggest concern right now. I want to stop hitting myself. I don't know if you've read my "i'm feeling down" thread, but the last thing that I wrote in it explains why I want to stop hurting myself so much.

So are you doing better? I hope so. i had missed talking to you. You help me out a lot, even if you don't realize it.

~element

I would like to show my journal to my mom, after I've been writing in it for about a month, but I don't think I can. It's too embarrassing and I'm ashamed of certain things that I've written about in it--such as hitting myself. That's my biggest concern right now. I want to stop hitting myself. I don't know if you've read my "i'm feeling down" thread, but the last thing that I wrote in it explains why I want to stop hurting myself so much.

Yeah, I understand the concern. Perhaps I have not mentioned this is the past, but I also used to do things to hurt myself...sure I drank too much, but that is not what I am talking about here. I used to hit inanimate objects...like walls, doors and the like with full force. What was the result? Well, I have three knuckles on one hand that are permanently "mangled" (<- proper medical term), while on the other hand I have scars and one mangled knuckle.

Was there an upside to this? Well if you consider that I was probably the only guy around who could throw a knockout punch and not hurt his hand...then yeah. But that is nothing to be proud of. The pain is only a distraction from what is really hurting you. It took me a long time to figure that out, and I am trying to help you understand it sooner so that you do not wind up doing permanent damage to yourself. I get that you hit yourself to feel actual pain, rather than the emotional pain that you may be going through.

Here is an analogy...I know you have mentioned that you are a christian (me not so much, but that Jesus fella was a good role model). Have you ever heard of self-flagellation? In the late middle ages (15th Century and into the 16th) there were German monks who used to whip themselves as payment for their "sins." Consider what you and I are/have done? Aren't we just sort of punishing ourselves for our percieved sins? We are trying to inflict pain to remove another feeling.

Sorry about the jump into the "way back machine" (ask your mom or dad about that...they will get it.), but I am trying to show you that I do understand where you are coming from, and I am trying to help you get to a better place so you can be a "normal" teenager (ok there are no normal teens...its a myth).

Oh, and if you ever need help with history...I have a real strong background (working on my Master's degree).

I agree with you that it's probably just a way for me to get my mind off of my emotional pain. Unfortunately, i still can't seem to stop. I also do feel like I'm punishing myself even though I know that's not what God intends for me. He doesn't want to see me hurting myself. That's the wonderful thing about Christianity--we don't have to pay for what we've done. Christ payed the price for us. Unfortunately, I still punish myself. I'm ashamed of it though. Really ashamed of it. If my parents took me to a doctor, then I think I would be okay with discussing it with him or her, but I don't want my parents to know. And the only way that they'd probably take me to the doc would be if I told them about this, or if I told them that I really think I need help. I do think I may need help, but I don't want to tell 'em that.

I would like your help with history, but I think I'd have to have you come to my house, and um...that wouldn't work.

I hope and pray that I won't do any permanent damage to myself. I hope I won't hit my head too hard. I already have a few scars from cutting myself. They aren't very big though and no one notices them.

I keep thinking that nothing is wrong with me, but then when I look over my journal or think about certain things, I believe there is something wrong with me. Maybe, someday, I'll do something about it.

~element

Btw, Pedro, how did you stop hurting yourself. Advice would be much appreciated.

element