Manic depression is simple

Hell yeah! I LOVE the manic stages! That's part of the reason that I'm resistant sometimes with taking my medicine, but I also equally HATE the depression. So I'm still on meds. I'm not really "allowed" to go off of them at this point, anyway. I'm not sure how much they can do about it, but I don't really want to find out. And besides, I know I need to take care of myself right now.

But yes, as for the highs, I say that I love them. I USUALLY love them. I don't like when I get agitated though, or sometimes even enraged. That's, obviously, no fun. But I like just being hyper, having loads of energy and what not. I can go to the gym and work out for hours and hours and not run out of energy. I can talk to people (although I talk WAY too much), I often drive like a crazy person, but have a fun time doing it. I usually become hypersexual, but that's actually much more of an annoyance. I get super flirty too, which is also an annoyance, because I'll try to "behave" myself at school, and I find it difficult not to keep flirting with the guys around me, even when i truly want to stop. I often end up embarassing myself from talking too much and too loudly. So there are parts of the highs that I love and parts that I don't like. I'm a musician, also, and I find that the highs give me a lot of inspiration. I'm just not completely willing to let go of them altogether. I can do it for now...to get me through the end of the school year, but then i may go off of my meds.

Wow. Didn't mean to ramble so much! I'm probably about to slip into a manic mood now, but it will definately be put on hold, because I took something to calm me down, because my anxiety was getting bad, and now I'm about to take a nap.

~element

Hey Element,

So, you're the flirty type? I usually get on well with that type of girl - My first girlfriend was kind of like that. Are you also a talkative type of person? I can actually relate to the highs asssociated with BP because I have a medication (for my gut condition) that kind of gives me that feeling. It gives me energy, makes me talk more, and generally more happy. If mismanaged though, it can cripple a person.

Kevin

Well, it all depends on my mood! When I'm happy, I'm often flirty. When I'm manic, I'm ridiculously flirty! You see, I can be a very shy and quiet and reserved person, but when I become manic a lot of that goes out the window. Sometimes I get embarrassed about being manic. Sometimes it's good htough,l because it helps me meet people, when I usually couldn't. It's like alcohol, only my body poduces the feelings.

I can't say that I am or am not talkative. I almost feel that I am more than one person at times! Not really, but it's just that I'm not always this or that. I am usually very shy when I meet someone or when I'm in large crowds. But after I've gotten used to people, when I get into a high, I can talk and talk, or just act crazy! Dancing and what not. It can be very fun, but also, as I said before, embarassing. That's why I won't refuse meds for it. Well, part of the reason.

Haha, you should take your medicine, and I should NOT take mine one day, and we should have a party! lol THAT would be terrible! lol FUN, but terrible. You should have seen me in the hospital! Once I got over the panic and got "used to it" a bit, I started getting manic and I was acting so crazy! I was like dancing and stuff, and just being crazy. The other girls were doing it with me though. And we all got a ncie work out. See, we were supposed to have gone to do work out stuff in the program, but we didn't, 'cuz they lied. So we just danced and excercized in the living room. I have to admit it was actually fun. But I still didn't like the overall hospital experience.

~element

p.s. I guess this answers your question. I can definately talk too much if I want to!

Hmm, I am getting the feeling that you are the type of person who claims to be shy, but is actually hyperactive/sociable, as you've kind of portrayed here. I guess that I sometimes admit to being shy too, but I'm not really. I usually just go full steam ahead into things and don't look back. My tolerance for talking to people for long periods of time is quite low though.

Haha, no I really am very shy at times. Especially when I'm around a lot of people or people that are new. I can be EXTREMELY shy at school. BUT, once I know people, I'm much more outgoing. And here I'm very outgoing, as I don't feel so exposed and vulnerable. You could ask anyone in my family though, I can be very shy. And sometimes even after I know you I'll be very quiet. = I'm not that big on social things. I LOVE hanging out with close friends, but it takes me too damn long to make close friends!

I know what you mean about talking to people for long periods of time. Here that's not an issue for me (as you can obviously tell ) but sometimes when I talk to people "in person" it's more of a problem. I'm actually that way with my family quite a bit. I don't like to be around them for too long. It isn't that I dislike them, but I just can't take too much. I like spending a lot of time in my room, but my aunt thinks it's just because I'm depressed. It really isn't. It's just that I need my alone time. It's also a problem in class sometimes, that I just start getting anxious from being with the same people for a long time. I don't know if this is what you're talking about or not. If it isn't, then you're probalby quite confused, because I don't know how to explain this well! Basically, I just get sick of people after a while! It's not bad though with just one or two people, as long as I know them very very well. But sometimes, even then, I get sick of them.

That's interesting, element. Tell me: Do you 'recycle' friends in your life? I mean, do you drift from one friend to the next, never really forming a strong bond with any of them? This is what I have been doing. I'm like a traveller who just moves around from place to place whenever one place becomes boring/old, (except that I'm actually staying stationary and just moving between different groups of people).

Kevin

Yeah, I guess you could say I do that. I had lots of supposed friends at my old school, but I don't miss any of them. Don't really care, you know? I mean I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them, and if it did I would be upset, but I just don't relaly care about them. And at the new school, I make friends but I'm not close to them either. I only have that one guy that I was really close to, and it seems that we're destined to be apart! So that friendship isn't really reliable. It's just on again off again.

It's the same with me: I don't know or care about anyone from when I was in school; but I also don't know or care about anyone from the first college that I attended. I also know that once I finish-up at my present college that I won't keep in touch with my current friends there, and that I'll 'naturally' just form friendships with people in my next walk of life.

This will be problematic later in life, i'm sure of it.

Kevin

Yeah. It's already problematic for me...and I'm younger than you! I'm finding that I've become a bit cold toward my old friends too. They'll e-mail me, and I just pretend that I didn't get it, because I don't feel like talking to them. Then I feel guilty though, because I bet that is what that guy does to me. But then again, he also becomes desperate to see me at times, so i know he must care.

element wrote:Yeah. It's already problematic for me...and I'm younger than you! I'm finding that I've become a bit cold toward my old friends too. They'll e-mail me, and I just pretend that I didn't get it, because I don't feel like talking to them. Then I feel guilty though, because I bet that is what that guy does to me. But then again, he also becomes desperate to see me at times, so i know he must care.

I do this too (just don't reply to emails). To be honest though, if you just don't feel like doing something, then don't. there is a lot to be learned from this. I mean, it's about focussing on what you want, and not what others want. You have to look after yourself, element, and pay attention to no-one else (especially during this hard time that you're going through).

I don't feel guilty about not replying to emails anymore. i only reply to those people whom I actually enjoy communicating with. I find it easy to just cut someone out of my life, in fact. through this, I feel in control.

Kevin