Trying to make sense of this illness

I've been diagnosed bipolar since 2012 where i got manic from a venlafaxine switch. Ever since that time i've been living under the impression that its not a moving illness, its me responding to medications, which lead to alot of questionable decisions.
Its become clear now that i do have a moving illness and that i get bad with or without medications, the medications only makes it less bad.

Im selftaught musician 3 yeards back and for me the music has been something to live for, but the unrealistic goals that i put up for myself have been a real downfall and worsened my bipolar episodes.
Aswell as when i went good with the music i was basically swimming up the clouds, slight grandiose.

I belive i have to let go of this interest today, because its slowly tearing me down, but without it im empty and hollow, i cant find any joy in anything else.

Ive been writing some in the DID forum because of my personality swings realated to what i thought was DID, but i wanna ask you others with bipolar:
Do your personality change with your episodes? Have you had this with ultradian cycling, if so how did it present itself?

What are things that i can do to reduce the intensity and duration of my episodes in a safe manner (besides medications, already maxed there)?

Hello Z

I know this may make your eyes roll (and it did for me for many years) but sleep. If you can regulate it and get good sleep it makes a huge difference. Eat right and exercise. It sounds like advice anyone would give for anything. My BP was bad for years, mostly because of binge drinking and other things. But once I kicked that and did the above, I reduced my issues by 40% or so.